Tommy Hilfiger, ESPN Take On Uniforms

Back in December, I hit a point that I was spending more time on sports rumor web sites than I was on Facebook or Twitter, which is a considerable concern mind you, and it was all due to the Albert Pujols contract talks. And my obsessive behavior hit a low point when I actually shelled out American currency to pay for ESPN Insider. Of course I know that all of ESPN’s “rumors” are available everywhere else – and rarely correct – but I still needed to hear from Buster Olney that Albert’s best landing place was St. Louis, even if it meant reading Michael Wilbon’s latest efforts like, “I’m from Chicago, did you know this?” and “Every team should let the Cubs win”.

With that Insider subscription, of course, came ESPN the Magazine, or as I like to call it – Highlights for sports fans. Although the latest issue didn’t feature Goofus and Gallant teaching us about the NFL lockout, it was the “Style Report”, for which I went out and bought a Burberry scarf just to flip it in contempt. Actually, the issue has been on my bathroom floor for a week.

I won’t go into too much detail about my lack of desire to read about how I can spend $8,000 to dress like Steve Johnson and CJ Wilson, but I was rather tickled by a short feature about Tommy Hilfiger’s thoughts on how he would change the uniforms of pro sports’ most iconic teams – namely the L.A. Lakers, New York Yankees, Dallas Cowboys and Montreal Canadiens. Meanwhile, I still can’t convince Saran Wrap to redesign the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders’ uniforms.

If you haven’t already scoffed at the notion, take a look for yourself.

Page 2

I have vague memories of early 1990s Starter jerseys that were more appealing than this design. This would be the type of jersey that you find listed on eBay from Hong Kong sellers who swear the jerseys are authentic MLB merchandise. You’d be lucky to order one without realizing they say “Now York Yonkees”. Aside from that, how do you redesign the most iconic uniform in baseball history? Well, with all due apologies to the 1979 Houston Astros, of course.

Page 3

I don’t think this Lakers design is terrible, by any means, but it seems like something I would find at a 20% discount on Eastbay. Keep in mind, I know that these are just imaginations from a legendary fashion designer, but much like the Yankees, the Laker brand is pretty simple. If anything, try this out on the Clippers. I’m sure Donald Sterling owns enough Tommy Hilfiger clothing.

Page 4

Hilfiger says that the star aspect of the Dallas uniforms is important in conveying that this is America’s team. I wasn’t aware we were still pretending that the Cowboys held on to that title. But I do like the implication that Tony Romo has a tramp stamp.

Page 5

I’m not sure what this uniform is for. Is this a private school that I’m unfamiliar with? Must be a Quidditch thing.

(Images via ESPN the Magazine, and you’ll need Insider to view the digital edition, so you’re more than welcome to have my copy.)

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