I was really hoping the Caps could go all the way this year, but artist Aleksandr Reut has jinxed them into a literal oblivion with Washington Capitals — We are the Champions!, a 40″ x 32″ oil painting on canvas that may or may not serve as the cover to an NHL Choose Your Own Adventure Book reading “the Caps have died, the end” on every page. The painting is currently available on eBay with a starting bid of $5,000, so if you’re a Good Samaritan type with five grand to spare, please buy this, put it in a trashcan and dropkick it into the f**king sun.
Here’s a better look at the painting. On a mountain of skulls, in the castle of pain, Alex Ovechkin sat on a throne of blood! What was will be! What is will be no more! Now is the season of evil! Sidney Crosby is like the buzzing of flies to him!
My favorite part is either Bruce Boudreau as a hobbit/Gandalf ultimate mash-up or Barack Obama off in the background dressed like a pilgrim. I also love how the artist only has those 65 x 85 Yahoo Sports player photos for reference, so no matter what he paints the players are always looking directly at you.