Michael Vick was given the key to the city of Dallas last week, which is fine as long as he isn’t depriving that key of food and water to make it aggressive toward other keys. No, but seriously, this was not the key to the city so much as a key bestowed upon the polarizing Philadelphia Eagles quarterback by, if I can read the card here, Mayor Pro Tem Dwaine Caraway.
The key that Caraway gave Vick — a gold-hued, six-inch key bearing the seal of Dallas — is less than official, according to explanations from city officials. The official “keys” to Dallas are made from gold or crystal and are given out mainly to foreign dignitaries under strict protocol.
But all council members are permitted to hand out token keys, at a cost of $25 apiece, to whomever they please. So it was that Kiss’ Gene Simmons got an unofficial key from council member Steve Salazar last week.
The way council members pass out unofficial keys sometimes raises hackles at City Hall, in large part because they so often seem to end up in the hands of celebrities.[..]
But until Caraway gave a key to Vick, the question of who got what keys to the city didn’t have much resonance outside City Hall. That changed Monday, as word spread about Caraway’s act.
My gripe over The Whole Vick Thing isn’t that he’s somehow unworthy of escaping the shadow of his former self, it’s just that he’s boring now. Yes, the Vick hate is just boring to me, but I guess people in Dallas are pretty p:ssed. If Vick had been fighting cows, he probably could have run for governor.