War Machine Says He Got Gonorrhea In His Eyeball While Shooting Porn

Pro Wrestling Editor
02.10.15 10 Comments
Christy Mack

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Jon ‘War Machine’ Koppenhaver has done a lot of nasty things over the past year. Whether it was allegedly torturing and trying to murder his ex-girlfriend, calling her a liar, laughing in court as she described being raped or simply writing terrible poetry, nearly every War Machine story is accompanied by a facepalm and a dry heave.

To continue that trend, here’s War Machine comparing sex to doing steroids and listing off all his STDs, including the time he got gonorrhea in his eye. Finally, a reason for women to stay away from him! Via Jezebel, with a h/t to BroBible:

“I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure… Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind.” Ecclesiastes 2:10-11

I remember when I first got into porno, I got gonorrhea in my eyeball on my second scene; I only made 18 films but I got gonorrhea twice and chlamydia three times… Apparently I had “bad luck” because it seems that every industry girl I spoke to had never gotten anything, not once. There’s some weird denial amongst porn stars, nobody wants to admit the obvious perils that the profession brings. I remember that young star Jessie Rogers spoke out against porn, and exposed the fact that she contracted herpes in her very short career. All the other girls were up in arms, quick to blame her herpes on escorting – as if the majority of porn actors don’t have herpes…? Christy only continued in that line of work for the first few months of our relationship, and even in that short time she brought home both chlamydia and herpes. I mean, big deal, it is what it is; I just don’t know why it’s taboo to admit it.

It’s like athletes and steroids; why is it a surprise that most use them? My old neighbor at the county jail once asked me, “I work out every day, how come I don’t get huge like The Rock?” Do people really believe all those super jacked celebrities don’t use steroids? Dude, you can’t have unprotected sex with tons of people and avoid STDs… Nor can you look like The Rock without steroids. Celebs need to start being more honest so that they don’t lead others down paths blindly. Why do you think LA forced the condom law into porn? STDs are a huge problem! They have even found a strain of gonorrhea impervious to antibiotics. Why do you think steroids are illegal? One reason is because “roid rage” is real! Almost every time I was arrested I was juicing! All our heroes are frauds, and we chase after them like naïve little puppies. I will allow myself that one minor pat on the back; I was always pretty honest to the fans. Besides that though… I have mostly sucked as a role model. I’ve taught my followers to use steroids, to be a “whore machine”, to be violent, to deny Jesus, to be prideful, and the list goes on. I lived my life on a whim. I had [no] morals and was all about ME.

I guess the only good thing about that, is that you can learn from MY mistakes and see where that behavior and lands you. It’s not worth it; don’t aspire to be the old me, aspire to be the me that I am striving to become. The way of evil is not the business; I screwed hundreds of hot chicks, I was popular, people wanted my picture… And what? It never really made me happy inside. If you can find a girl to love, hold onto her and treat her right. Don’t even mess with that Instagram crap, don’t even watch porn, all that stuff just makes you lustful and causes you to forsake what you already have. I ruined both my marriage and my relationship with Christy because of lust. The grass ain’t always greener, in fact it never is – water what you have.

Every story about getting VD in your eye during a porn shoot should start with a quote from the Bible.

It takes a special kind of wordsmith to explain the drip in your eye by saying you’re trying to be The Rock of porn. Also, big ups to War Machine for catching an STD in his face two scenes into porn and shooting 17 more movies. Good thing finding religion has given him perspective. When War Machine dies, I want him to approach the Pearly Gates all nervous, only for Jesus to burst through in a tank top yelling COME ON IN, BRO, WE’RE DOING ALPHA MALE ANGEL SH*T.

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