Weed Against Speed Is Thankful

The writers of this fine site have taken time to share with you, dear reader, some of the things for which each of us is thankful. Leading off is Weed Against Speed, noted WL utility person and The Man at Sportress of Blogitude. Enjoy.

During this time of Thanksgiving, it is a wise practice for ungrateful, selfish and self-absorbed folks like me to take a moment to realize how fortunate we really are despite the fact we spend almost all of our time pissing and moaning about our lot in lives.

So, with that said (or more accurately, typed), here are a few things yours truly, Weed Against Speed, is thankful for, in particular those things that exist within the realm of sports.

I am thankful for high definition television. No technological innovation has been more integral to the enhancement of the average fan’s enjoyment of watching sports on the boob tube. Once you watch hockey in HD, there is no going back – watching standard definition hockey is akin to watching ’70s porno – sure, you can see everything, but the blurry, grainy quality of the images make you feel like you are watching footage of hostages. Granted, those hostages are engaging in a gangbang, but they are scared, cold and in many ways, alone. So, I guess you could say porno actors are a lot like hostages in many respects, no matter the era. Somehow, this comparison addresses the quality of standard definition hockey. Don’t ask me how, it just does.

However, one thing I am ungrateful for concerning high definition television is the disparity between the quality of the audio between different channels. This happens all the time when watching NFL football on Sundays. The CBS audio feed is vastly superior to the FOX’s, so if you are running the sound through your stereo system and you are watching a game on FOX and switch over to CBS, you are greeted by a sonic blast that could make you jump out of your pants, if you happen to be wearing any.

This brings me to the next thing I am thankful for: NFL football on Sundays. Even without NFL Sunday Ticket (screw you, DirecTV), you are assured of watching three games – perhaps not the most compelling match-ups – but three games nonetheless. Watching the NFL all day on Sunday also provides a built-in excuse for overindulging in the sweet, sweet nectar of alcoholic beverages. I’ll worry about my addiction issues when I drag my sorry ass out of bed on Monday morning. Right now, it is 10:30 in the morning, and these Bloody Marys and Screwdrivers aren’t going to drink themselves.

I am also thankful for my short-term memory and how it has allowed me – and many other sports fans – to become huge fans of players we once despised simply by the fact they are wearing out team’s laundry now. I am looking at you, Old, Grizzled, Just-Having-Fun-Out-There Gunslinger.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I am thankful for the wonderful blogging community, in particular the talented folks behind the Deadspins, the Kissing Suzy Kolbers and the With Leathers. Without these guys, I never would have realized the joy one can experience by having tens upon tens of people occasionally read your work.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

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