What to watch for in this weekend's biggest matchups. One side or another in ALL CAPS.
Usain Bolt over TYSON GAY – It looks like we're heading towards a showdown between Gaybolt and Asafa Powell in the 100-meter final. I know exactly nothing about sprinters, but seems to me that a guy nursing an injury (unless he's Tiger Woods) doesn't stand much of a chance against the current world record holder. Besides, the bolt always come before the gay. What's gaiety without the ZAPP!
Michael Phelps over MARK SPITZ – Pretty obvious by now, isn't it?
LOS ANGELES DODGERS over Milwaukee Brewers – "Oh my Gaaaahhhhh! Manny cut his hair and didn't get any hits the next game! He must be like Samson!" Die.
VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA over Tropic Thunder – A literal threesome involving ScarJo, Penelope Cruz and a dude hands down beats the comedy threesome of Jack Black, Ben Stiller and Robert Downey, Jr. Even if Downey is awesome.
Washington Redskins over NEW YORK JETS – I'm not talking about the game, per se. It's the preseason. Who gives a graham-crusted fuck? I'd just like some Redskins to fall over Brett Favre's trachea in his first appearance in a Jets' uniform.
And so marks the end of another drudging August week of near-nothingness. Don't worry, another one is just aroud the corner. Then another one. Then comes the good stuff! You'll see.