What to watch for in this weekend’s biggest macthups. One side or another in ALL CAPS.
USC over Ohio State — For once, early in the fall, the NCAA has the biggest football game of the weekend. I’ll take the wealthy and attractive entitled douchebags over the Down Syndrome of states.
HURRICANE IKE over Texas — No, literally: it’s over Texas. Right now. RUN! Take only what’s necessary!
Rays over YANKEES — Ahhhh… Yankee Stadium gets demolished right after New York misses the playoffs. It’s time for me to fall in love with baseball again.
JETS over Patriots — Honestly, I don’t know who to root against here. Without Brady around, the announcers will give Favre constant fellation. But a Pats win means glory to Belichick. But if the Jets win, New York rags will break out the “Mangenius” name again. And so: c’monnnnnnnn…. METEOR!
That’s all for this week. If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the gutter. Have a safe and fun weekend, and don’t spend it all on gambling and booze. Save some for lap dances!