08.11.07 10 years ago 7 Comments

The Chicago Cubs claimed oft-injured Scott Podsednik on waivers, and now the Chicago White Sox have 2 days to broker a trade with their crosstown rivals.  Pale Hose Manager Ozzie Guillen, who has criticized Podsednik as "unreliable" as recently as July, had this to say:

"I never will say that about my players," Guillen said. "A lot of people have a ring on their fingers because of him. When that came out, I had a meeting with my team and expressed, myself, what I really meant and the way it came out."

That was an extremely lucid and straightforward comment.  Wait, what?  Someone alert the authorities immediately that Ozzie Guillen has been kidnapped by aliens or Hugo Chavez's henchmen because that certainly wasn't him speaking.  I'd do it, but 911 no longer longer takes me seriously after all those calls claiming that the ghost of Red Grange was haunting my local Long John Silver's.  I swear that pirate behind the counter was wearing a leather football helmet, but my vision was slightly impaired because I drank all that vanilla extract cut with malt vinegar.  In retrospect, it was probably just that epileptic kid who wears a hockey helmet to protect his head during seizures.  I still can't believe they hired that asshole over me.  Anyway, the only thing that matters is that Podsednik's lovely wife Lisa will still be watching baseball in the City of Big Shoulders.  Although, it will be sad to lose yet another sexy Chi-town female to Wrigleyville.  That leaves Bridgeport with, let's see . . . 2.5 hotties.  3 if you're really beer-goggling. -KD      

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