Someone sent me the above image the other day – original version here – and I have no idea what game it’s from or when it was taken, but it’s fantastic. I Tweeted it and we had some fun with it and then I forgot about it, because have you seen that Kate Upton video yet, but last night, as I was scavenging the Internet for random things to photoshop, I realized this photo is everywhere. And since it’s on Imgur, I’ll just assume that it started out on Reddit. Usually a safe assumption.
People have been endlessly debating the best aspects of this photo and, while I can’t pick one myself, I figured we might as well try to add some good ol’ With Leatherian intelligence to this debate. Above, I’ve circled the finer aspects of this photo as if it’s some training graphic for how not to behave at a baseball game, and after the jump I’ve broken each number down a little further.
1) Yo, Your Jaw, Dude – Only on a sick and twisted level is there something funny about this poor guy’s day at the ballpark being ruined by an errant bat. But from the standpoint of enjoying how amazing this picture has captured a variety of reactions, you almost have to marvel at the photographer’s ability to capture the bones as they seemingly shatter. Hopefully this guy’s receiving/received the bomb apple sauce.
2) Overly Terrified Child – Sitting right behind Jawbreaker is the most terrified child I have ever seen in my life. However, he’s not ducking, which tells me that he’s either just piss-in-his-Spidey-underpants petrified of what’s happening, or he’s a sadistic little monster who was eager to see what happened when that bat connected with the man’s face. I’ll also accept consideration that he’s a really stoned little person, because that face.
3) Chill Bro – “I do say, it seems that the batter lost his grip on the bat, and now his 33-ounce hunk of lumber appears to be flying in my general direction. Oh my, that elder fellow has now been struck in the jaw with the most wicked crack my ears have ever heard. Tsk tsk, poor fellow. I do suppose I’ll finish this Amstel and go relieve some bladder pressure at the urine depository.”
4) Ain’t Care Girl – This girl is awesomely oblivious to everything that is happening around her. There’s a good chance that bad just whizzed right over her head and she never thought a thing about it. She also gets bonus points for not a single f*ck given because the girl next to her had the expected response that anyone should have.
5) Shiny Objects Kid – Is this kid reaching for the bat a few seconds too late or is she calling out to her home planet to come retrieve her?
6) Father of the Year – Gotta love a dad who seemingly makes no effort to protect his toddler from a flying projectile. I suspect that if the bat had actually hit his daughter in the face, he still would have grabbed it and waved it in the air like he caught the perfect souvenir.
7) Nom Nom Moms – I’ll give these ladies credit, I do love a good personal Papa John’s Pizza at a sporting event. Except I’m assuming that Overly Terrified Child is with them, so they’re really no better than Father of the Year, except while he’s spazzing out, they’re also simply giving no f*cks that day.