If the start of both football seasons has taught me anything, it’s that I am out of shape. I don’t mean my fat ass, because that’s an obvious statement. I mean my ability to day drink. Hoo boy, I am not 22-years old anymore, and that is just depressing. I actually found myself shaking my proverbial fist at college students this weekend for being too drunk. The hell is wrong with me?
Anyway, I can’t wait to lay on my couch and watch Peyton Manning and Eric Decker outscore Matt Ryan by 6 points. *crosses fingers, puts money in the collection dish and sacrifices 12 chickens to Cthulhu.
Monday Night Football: Denver Broncos at Atlanta Falcons – 8:30 PM ET on ESPN
A lot of people are writing this game off as no big deal for Manning, but I think every game is a big deal for ol’ forehead. For starters, this game is in a hostile atmosphere and should be a huge test to see if he can still duke it out against a high-powered offense. Obviously, it should help him a great deal that Brent Grimes is out for the season and the Falcons suck on Monday Night games, but for as much faith as I’ve put in Manning, I also love me some Matt Ryan, so here’s to hoping it’s an entertaining one.
Around the Horn – 5:00 PM ET
What quirky thing will Woody Paige write on the chalkboard behind his head? Will Jemele Hill show up and pretend like she’s a sideline reporter? By the way, if you didn’t see her “interview” Mike Leach before Friday’s Washington State game, you missed some unintentional comedy. He’s the best.
Monday Night Raw – 8 PM ET on USA
If you’re attending tonight’s show – wherever it is – and you make a sign that reads either “Burnsy loves tacos” or “Brandon loves celery” and I see it on TV, I will send you a free With Leather t-shirt.
MLB: Philadelphia Phillies at New York Mets – 7:10 PM ET on whatever channel
I’m slowly talking myself into the fact that the Phillies are probably going to steal the second wild card spot from the Cardinals. St. Louis just can’t buy a damn win lately, which probably makes baseball’s less classy and less intelligent fans very happy.