Every year, some poor, lazy, bored journalist’s soul dies a little more as its hands slap feverishly at a keyboard to produce several hundred words and a Mad Lib title like: “Could the (successful NCAA football or basketball team) defeat the (down-on-its-luck NFL or NBA franchise?” For the football argument, people asked, “Could the Alabama Crimson Tide defeat the Kansas City Chiefs?” and now for the basketball argument, the Orlando Sentinel’s Mike Bianchi is asking, “Could Gators beat Magic?”
If anything, he’s succinct. My good buddy Mikey is a classic pot-stirrer, which of course means that he feasts daily on several helpings of Internet vitriol. But to answer his question – No, the Florida Gators would not beat the Orlando Magic. Absolutely not. Shut up. Stop asking this question. Thank you.
NCAA Basketball: Florida at Arkansas – 7 PM ET on ESPN
NCAA Basketball: Wake Forest at UNC – 7 PM ET on ESPNU
NCAA Basketball: Villanova at DePaul – 7 PM ET on ESPN 2
NCAA Basketball: Ohio State at Michigan – 9 PM ET on ESPN
NCAA Basketball: South Carolina at Kentucky – 9 PM ET on ESPNU
Hells bells, college football fans, this is officially the time of the year when I start cramming for March Madness so I can turn around and pretend like I really know what I’m talking about. So keep that in mind when I’m misspelling players’ names in a month while making all of my normal errors as well.
NHL: Tampa Bay Devil Lightning at Philadelphia Flyers – 7:30 PM ET on NBC Sports
There have been a lot of rumors lately about the possibility of the Tampa Bay Rays moving from their home in Tampa St. Petersburg if they are unable to lock up a new stadium deal, and I think that it needs to happen for the best interests of both baseball and the citizens of Tampa. That city needs to forget about baseball and go back to focusing solely on being hockey fans when it’s convenient.
NBA: Los Angeles Lakers at Brooklyn Nets – 7:30 PM ET on NBA TV
The Lakers management has reportedly filed a complaint with the league about how hard other teams are fouling Dwight Howard. The Orlando Magic, of course, filed a similar complaint with the league, talked about it in the media constantly and even presented the league with endless footage of how bad opposing players were hammering Howard’s back.
So what I’m trying to say is – should I even bother complaining when the league takes the Lakers’ side and issues a league-wide warning about hitting Howard too hard? What do you think, Miranda Kerr?
That’s what I thought.
(Gators gals via)