I know it’s going to be an exciting NBA Finals now that my favorite Internet rapper of all-time, Froggy Fresh, is here with basketball’s new anthem, “Dunked On”. Calling back to the era of Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen, Froggy Fresh and his crew are going to be singlehandedly responsible for the renaissance of streetballers this summer, from Miami to Seattle and probably even beyond. In fact, if David Stern doesn’t announce at least a four-city expansion after listening to this, he’s a bigger fool than I previously believed.
Now, some people think that Mr. Fresh’s raps are a joke, ever since he blew up with the insta-classic “Best Friends”. But those people clearly didn’t pay attention to the words of that jam, nor did they bother watching the even more intense “Mike’s Mom”. Froggy Fresh is the voice of a new generation, and I’ll pick him first in my 5-on-5 rap battle any day.
Game 1: Spurs at Heat – 9 PM ET on ABC
After an entire postseason of me complaining about the NBA’s asinine scheduling and refusal to simply play conference finals games on alternating nights, as opposed to having nights with no basketball, here we are… with a 9 PM ET game. As the kids who throw firecrackers in my backyard late at night say, “SMDH”.
But make sure you join our cooler cousins at the Smoking Section for the NBA Finals live discussions. If you’re lucky, you can catch David D. making fun of me for the Magic giving their superstars to the Lakers every few years. If only that Chris Paul trade had happened, I’d finally have some retribution.
Stanley Cup Playoffs
Western Conference Finals Game 4: Blackhawks at Kings – 9 PM ET on NBC Sports
Will Tay Stevens be able to jiggle and squish her boobs enough to guide the Kings to another win and even the series at 2 games each? I sure hope so. Otherwise, I’m going to have to rush my ridiculous NHL-porn star quest that we’ll be unveiling on Monday. I can’t rush porn research, people.
Take us home, Froggy Fresh!