From the folks at Awful Announcing comes this two-headed precautionary tale that either tells us: 1) If you’re sports talk radio hosts and you want to do something as zany and radical as conducting your own urine tests in the wake of news that Major League Baseball is still pissed about the way Ryan Braun figuratively pissed in its face and “seeks to” suspend him and 19 other players over what some juice quack claims, then you should make sure someone qualified handles those urine samples.
Or 2) If you’re going to do all of that but fake it so it just looks like your producer spilled piss all over one of you, then you should really try to sell it like that’s actually someone’s pee that is soaking your skin and clothes. Because real or not, I was thoroughly entertained by the above bit from WFAN’s Boomer and Carton.
It would have been perfect, though, if the urine had splashed about five feet to Carton’s right.
MLB: Rangers at Red Sox – 7 PM ET on ESPN 2
Far be it for me to criticize the people who create ESPN’s schedules across multiple networks, but at 7 PM ET on ESPN, you can watch “Greatest Coaches in NFL History” while an actual live baseball game between two contenders is on ESPN 2. Is this done so ESPN 2 gets better ratings or is ESPN slowly inching toward “F*ck hockey” territory with baseball, too? I’m asking sincerely because I find this fascinating.
Game 3: Penguins at Bruins – 8 PM ET on NBC Sports
I was thinking that with Tay Stevens becoming the official breasts of the Western Conference Finals, we’ll devote some time tomorrow trying to pick an adult film star to represent the Eastern Conference Finals. So stay tuned for that. In the meantime, I nominate Boston’s own Tyler Faith.
When not busy Tweeting pics of her own giant breasts (Yes, that is an implication of NSFW), Tyler is openly cheering for her Bruins. So that would make sense, I guess. But we’ll try to do better tomorrow, because you deserve it.
WWE Main Event – 8 PM ET on ION
I have no clue what’s happening in the WWE right now. Is John Cena still the champ? Good for him if he is.