Last night, as my beloved (when it’s convenient) St. Louis Blues were allowing the Los Angeles Kings to score two goals in the third period and even the series at 2-2 in the process, one of my favorite women in all of show business was not only attending that game, but she was also live-Tweeting the experience, as it was her first ever NHL game. That woman is Retta, who plays the wonderful Donna on Parks and Rec, and she was also the comedienne who delivered my favorite coverage for the 2012 Summer Olympics in Tweet form.
At that time, I pleaded with NBC through Twitter and telepathy to assign Retta to full-time Olympic coverage and now I’m asking the embattled home of my favorite TV show (Parks and Rec, obviously) to let her be an analyst for the rest of the NHL’s Stanley Cup Playoffs. I guarantee it would increase ratings by at least one person. That person being me. Hey, it beats the crap out of me making endless jokes about not knowing what channel the games are on.
Game 4: Canadiens at Senators – 7 PM ET on CNBC
Game 4: Penguins at Islanders – 7 PM ET on NBC Sports
Game 4: Blackhawks at Wild – 9:30 PM ET on NBC Sports
Game 4: Canucks at Sharks – 10 PM ET on CNBC
Good luck to all teams involved, and may there be plenty of tropical chicken pizza available for all of you. Seriously, eat every last slice of it so I never have to. MEAT PIZZA 4 LIFE, BITCHES.
Game 2: Pacers at Knicks – 7 PM ET on TNT
Game 2: Grizzlies at Thunder – 9:30 PM ET on TNT
If the rest of the NBA Playoffs games are like last night’s games, then David Stern can ride off into the sunset on a chariot made of middle fingers while drinking the tears of all small market team fans. Seriously, last night was fantastic.
MLB: Cardinals at Cubs – 8 PM ET on WGN
Poor Cubs fans. Maybe this will be the series that will spark the turnaround. Fingers crossed.
(Via the wonderful Baseball Card Vandals)