Just when you think only the classiest news comes out of Florida and Ohio, West Virginia goes and does something to blow all of our minds. Last Friday, Andrew Young and James Miller of Charleston, West Virginia were preparing for a local live wrestling event by practicing some of their favorite moves, like the power bomb and choke slam. Unfortunately, they weren’t exactly practicing those moves on each other, like normal adult men would do. Nah, they practiced them on a 2-year old girl instead.
South Charleston police say the men were practicing their moves on a toddler and caused severe bruising and a fractured leg. (Via WSAZ)
You might think that a person would be upset and concerned if he just wounded and possibly crippled a 2-year old girl, but no. Young and Miller were upset, but for other reasons.
“He wasn’t very happy,” South Charleston Police Detective A.R. Gordon says. “I guess he was looking forward to this wrestling event that was going to be here tonight. That’s probably not going to happen at this point.”
Don’t worry, it gets worse.
Young wasn’t shy when we asked him questions, playing it up for the camera.
“Love you maw maw, I’m famous!” Young yelled into the camera.
He says he was just playing with the little girl.
“I choke slammed her,” Young says. “But I didn’t hurt her. She didn’t cry after I did it.”
“It was playing around,” Miller says. “It’s stuff I’ve done forever.”
The Less-Than-Valiant Brothers* are each facing a year in jail after they pleaded guilty to two misdemeanor counts of battery, as opposed to taking their chances with going to trial yesterday. Our UPROXX legal team told me they stood as good of a chance in court as Lenny and Lodi against High Voltage. Am I right? *high fives self*
*I also considered The Assholeytes, The Hardly Boyz, The Yukon Dumberjacks, Tykeforce, Devolution and, well, The Dudley Boyz.