Last night’s episode of WWE Raw caused “anal bleeding” to become a trending topic on Twitter. Sometimes it’s hard to be a wrestling fan.
Here’s a recap of what led to … uh, anal bleeding, for those who weren’t watching. On last week’s show, new World Heavyweight Champion Mark Henry, the 400+ pound “World’s Strongest Man”, harassed and beat up Raw’s announce team, including Jim Ross and 61-year old WWE Hall of Famer Jerry “The King” Lawler, culminating in Henry forecefully body-slamming Lawler through the ringside announcers table. This week, Ross gave us a health update for the absent Lawler — he’s feeling better and should be back next week. Michael Cole, play-by-play man and Jerry Lawler’s eternal enemy, added some late-breaking news … and I quote: “Jerry Lawler is suffering from bruised ribs and with all do respect, anal bleeding.” The statement was met with the expressions you see in the image up top. The world sorta slowed to a halt. What you see on the right is what immediately followed.
The topic built momentum and started trending worldwide, so much so that Cole and Ross acknowledged the success of “anal bleeding” after the next commercial break. Notice that it’s trending alongside SORRY JESUS. Being a trending topic isn’t as prestigious as people make it out to be, sure (especially when a three-year old Disney Channel movie and two Rachel Bilson-centric topics are trending alongside it), but the true humor comes from a world full of people not watching wrestling being suddenly confronted via social media by an embarrassing, unexpected world where jokes about bleeding from the ass aren’t that uncommon.
Here are a few of the “top tweets” from the trend:
Fun was had, but then the two worst things that can happen on Twitter happened. Ray William Johnson chimed in …
… and somebody blamed a trending topic on Justin Bieber.
The topic continued to trend through the night, mostly through people going “WTF why is anal bleeding a TT????”
So the moral of the story, because wrestling won’t accept morals like “don’t say your employees have anal bleeding”, is that we need to detach the WWE Universe from the Actual Universe so moments like this don’t keep intermingling with (debatably) functional society. Secondary moral: Let’s give Jerry Lawler trench mouth next week and see if we can get it to trend.