This week’s five-point Raw preview:
After Raw General Manager AJ Lee came completely unglued on last week’s Raw, one might begin to wonder if Mr. McMahon made the right decision in naming her the brand’s General Manager on the 1,000th episode of Raw. Speaking of Mr. McMahon … will Monday’s WWE Hall of Fame guest have anything to say about a certain incident involving the boss the last time the two of them were in Montreal? Here are five things to look for this Monday on Raw at 8/7 CT on USA Network.(via WWE.com)
Five actual things to look for on Raw:
1. Funkadactyl Cameron continuing her DUI/bribery suspension, causing poor Damien Sandow to be absent for another week, because, you know, you can’t continue a pro wrestler’s on-screen feud if one of his two ancillary dancing girls is missing.
2. General Manager AJ interrupting something to walk out onto the stage (or God forbid, all the way to the ring) to tilt her head to the side like a dog, put her fingers in her mouth, stand there silently for 45 seconds and announce a super obvious match or thing we were all expecting.
3. A show-opening 10-bell salute where all WWE stars past and present reunite to lower their heads in reverence, remember Triple H’s career, then spend the remaining 2 hours 59 minutes passionately discussing how awesome Triple H was. His haircut is never mentioned, because he’s excited to steal Undertaker’s “I shaved my head, that means I mean BUSINESS” thing at WrestleMania.
4. Jerry “The King” Lawler in a FIGHTIN’ MOOD, and by “fightin'” I mean making an upset face and shaking his head, then saying something racist.
5. Heath Slater losing to … oh, let’s say, Moe.
As always, the ten best/funniest/most appropriate/most directly Watchmen-referencing comments from tonight’s open discussion thread will be featured in tomorrow’s Best And Worst Of WWE Raw report. To nominate a comment for Top 10 status, please reply to it with a +1. We’re officially calling a moratorium on Jerry Lawler Is A Child Rapist jokes, because as appropriate as they are, they aren’t a good look.
Enjoy the show, everybody, and remember to stop by our loosely-organized picnic thing at CHIKARA’s King Of Trios this weekend. You’ll meet some of the stars of these open threads (like THESTINGER, who is bringing snacks) and awkwardly talk to me about wrestling for a while before we all go get in line. DON’T MISS IT.