WWE Raw Results 8/26/13

If you’d like to know what happened on tonight’s WWE Raw but don’t want to read star ratings and wordy paragraphs to decipher it, With Leather is here for you. Here’s what happened on the August 26, 2013, episode of WWE Raw:

WWE Raw results:

– The show opened with Triple H presenting Randy Orton with a new car. They were interrupted by Daniel Bryan. Triple H punished Bryan by putting him into a gauntlet match against The Shield.

1. Cody Rhodes defeated Fandango. During the match, The Miz interrupted, dancing out to Fandango’s music with Rosa Mendes. Fandango was distracted long enough for Cody to roll him up for three. Damien Sandow attacked Cody and The Miz made the save, so GM Brad Maddox interrupted and put the four into a tag team match.

2. Cody Rhodes and The Miz defeated Damien Sandow and Fandango. Fandango bailed on the match, leaving Sandow alone. Miz hit the Skull-crushing Finale on Sandow for the win.

3. CM Punk defeated Curtis Axel. Punk won with a GTS. Per a pre-match Raw Active poll, Punk’s win earned him a chance to beat up Paul Heyman. Before he could, Axel jumped Punk from behind, handcuffing Punk’s hands behind his back. Punk fought back with kicks, but ultimately Axel attacked him with a chair and held him, allowing Heyman to attack Punk with a kendo stick. The segment ended with Heyman on the ground yelling I LOVED YOU in Punk’s face.

4. Brie Bella defeated Natalya. This was a rematch from SummerSlam, featuring everyone from Total Divas. Eva Marie distracted the referee, allowing Nikki Bella to pull Brie out of a Sharpshooter. Brie then hit a facebuster for the win. After the match, AJ Lee interrupted and dropped a massive pipe bomb on the entire concept of Total Divas, declaring them pathetic excuses for women who can’t touch her in the Divas division.

5. Rob Van Dam defeated World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio. Ricardo Rodriguez stood on the announce table and did Rob Van Dam’s taunt, distracting Del Rio long enough for Van Dam to roll him up for the pin.

6. Randy Orton defeated Christian. With the referee temporarily stunned, Orton thumbed Christian in the eye and hit the RKO for the victory. After the match, Daniel Bryan revealed somewhat predictably that he had vandalized Orton’s new car. Triple H and Orton vowed to punish Bryan later in the show.

7. Titus O’Neil defeated Jack Swagger.

8. Daniel Bryan defeated Seth Rollins. Bryan won with the running knee he used to defeat Cena at SummerSlam. This was supposed to be the first match of a three-match gauntlet. Dean Ambrose immediately attacked Bryan and got caught in a Yes Lock, so Roman Reigns broke it up. That led to all three Shield members beating up Bryan. Triple H and Randy Orton walked onto the stage where the WWE roster had been ordered to stand and stared them down, per Triple H’s command that anyone who helped out Bryan or interfered would be fired on the spot. Orton RKO’d Bryan and left him lying at The Shield’s feet to end the show.

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