You Know What'd Improve My Stance? Touching My Dick To The Ground

This season, Coastal Carolina outfielder Alex Buccilli is batting .313 with 3 home runs and 20 runs batted in. How has he achieved such success at the plate? By holding in his sh*ts so long his ass nearly touches the ground.

At least that’s my theory. By way of Busted Coverage comes ESPN3’s favorite new batting stance, the Craig Counsell-infuriating pop-a-squat of Buccilli. Seriously, look at this thing:

He should just sit in the batters box and swing from the ground, or carry in a stool or something and swing from that.

On second thought, carrying in stool might be how he got in this stance in the first place.

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