Zack Greinke Injured by Charlie Sheen??? Click Here

He wasn’t, but if you asked me to name 900 reasons why Zack Greinke would be starting his first season as a Milwaukee Brewer on the DL with a fractured rib, “attacked by Charlie Sheen” might be on there, but “grabbed a rebound in a game of street hoops” wouldn’t. But that’s exactly what happened; Greinke (who is 6’2″ and deserving of an SB Nation-style “who is the whitest player in the history of baseball” discussion) went up for the board and came down somewhere near the bottom of the NL Central.

The best part is Greinke’s reaction.

“Everyone always told me not to do it because I was going to get hurt,” Greinke said. “It finally caught up to me.”

That is the most baller response ever. So when Greinke isn’t control pitching, he’s out roaming the city streets, escaping his handlers, looking for the next game of illegal pick-up street ball. You know he wears shorts that stop at his ankles and a big baggy like, silver metallic tank top and a bunch of headbands. He’s that white guy they always insert into park basketball games in TV shows and movies to make them not look racist.

In a related story, David Eckstein just injured himself trying to outrun a train in his Toyota Supra Turbo.

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