mystery science theater 3000

In Memoriam: MST3K’s Andy Rooney Contest

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As we all know, cranky dickhead Andy Rooney passed away this weekend.

obits

R.I.P. Andy Rooney

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Crotchety rambler Andy Rooney has passed away, just one month after his final "60 Minutes" appearance and slightly more than a week after suffering complications from minor surgery.

CBS

Andy Rooney Stable After Almost Dying

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Just three weeks after his final "60 Minutes" ramble, Andy Rooney almost died.

CBS

Andy Rooney Is a Real A-Hole

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There was some excellent TV journalism on "60 Minutes" last night, none of which had anything to do with Andy Rooney.

OLD PEOPLE

Andy Rooney Says Goodbye, Grumpily

As expected, the internet's favorite grumpy old man said goodbye to us all last night, and he did it in the hyper-ornery manner that has become his trademark.

holy taco

Andy Rooney Taken Out Of Context, Gloriously

In response to the news that TV fossil Andy Rooney will be retiring, the fine folks at Holy Taco made this gem of a supercut that takes a bunch of Andy lines and splices them all together.

hooker nailing

So Long, Andy Rooney

60 Minutes' dinosaur curmudgeon Andy Rooney is arguably the internet's favorite dinosaur curmudgeon.

WWII IN HD: THE AIR WAR

Boner Alert: History Channel Making Follow-Up to ‘WWII in HD’

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One of my favorite programs of last year was History's "WWII in HD," a documentary that unearthed astonishingly vivid color video of the Second World War.

OLD PEOPLE

Andy Rooney Is Going on a Diet

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Andy Rooney caught wind of the report that claims three-fourths of Americans will be obese by the year 2020, and he had something to say about it.

CBS

Andy Rooney Fears Gadgets

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It's been a while since we've checked in on Andy Rooney, the official dementia-ridden rambling old man of Warming Glow.

OLD PEOPLE

Andy Rooney Hates Desire

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Andy Rooney cooked up his standard recipe on "60 Minutes" last night: one large chunk of old man grumpiness, three ladles of stroke-induced confusion, and a sprinkle of rambling dementia.

JOHN MARKS

Finally, a movie about vampires

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According to ComingSoon, veteran B-movie director John Carpenter has been hired to direct Hilary Swank in an adaptation of the 2008 novel Fangland.

TOBY TURNER

Vastly Improved Resident Evil: Afterlife Trailer

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Toby Turner, the same guy who did the parody ads of Mafia Wars and Farmville, has started doing literal music versions of movie trailers, most recently the one for Resident Evil: Afterlife (video below).

OLD PEOPLE

These Kids With Their Music!

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I've been following Andy Rooney's Vortex of Senility™ for some time now, and last night's complaint -- that plain ol' average middle-of-the-road Andy hasn't heard of ANY of the musicians on the Billboard Top 200 -- is proof that there is no bottom to this well of senility.

WHAT'S ON TONIGHT

WEEKEND PREVIEW: HORSIES, CONAN, AND COCAINE SUBMARINES

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(Matt is off to enjoy the gorgeous Friday afternoon.

LESLEY STAHL

LESLEY STAHL SAYS ‘SNUS’ A LOT

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On this past Sunday's "60 Minutes," Lesley Stahl investigated Snus, the smokeless tobacco that comes in tiny packets (If my Marines who chewed Copenhagen are to be believed, Snus are perfect for "pussies and faggots").

xmas ape

$1,968.46 Well Spent, CBS

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Of all the celebrities who didn't get the chance to blow me off in Miami, Andy Rooney is the one I'm saddest of all that I missed.


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