JEEPS

This Jeep Driver Taught A Corvette Owner A Lesson About Parking Like An A-Hole

By | 105 Comments

This Jeep driver did what everyone who has ever encountered a double-parker has ever wanted to do.

roger goodell

Roger Goodell Says He Hasn’t Considered Resigning At All, Not One Bit, Not For A Second

By | 19 Comments

Roger Goodell said a lot of words today, almost all of which confirm him being a stubborn, arrogant a-hole.

AVRIL LAVIGNE

These People Paid $400 To Stand Awkwardly Next To Avril Lavigne Without Touching Her

By | 11 Comments

Fans at an Avril Lavigne meet and greet were given strict instructions not to hug or touch her in any way, under any circumstances.

#Viral Videos

The Worst Person Ever Giving A Tinder Tutorial Should Hopefully Scare You Away From Using Tinder

By | 12 Comments

This Tinder "tutorial" demonstrates why you should stay far the hell away from Tinder.

WONT SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN

A 12-Year Old Girl Can't Play Football Because Boys Get Boners, And Also The Bible

By | 34 Comments

Maddy Blythe is a 12-year old girl who loves football and attends a Christian private school in Georgia.

SLAM DUNKS

Chris Brown Got Dunked On, And The World Clapped Its Hands

By | 9 Comments

<a href="http://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/chris-brown-dunked-on.png"></a>Insert your own tacky Rihanna joke here.

RESURRECTION FIGHTING ALLIANCE

My New Favorite MMA Fighter Is My Anus

By | 2 Comments

Sorry if you were googling "my anus" and found your way here, I'm guessing this isn't what you were looking for.

proposals

Morning Links: Adrien Broner Has Compromised Boxing’s Integrity

By

Fake wedding proposals should be secret code for, "please break up with me immediately".

TRACK AND FIELD

Mahiedine Mekhissi-Benabbad Is Officially My Least Favorite Athlete

By | 5 Comments

This colossal dickface wins the 3,000 meter steeplechase gold medal at the European Championships in Helsinki and celebrates by shoving an adorable mascot who happened to be a 14-year old girl.

NHL

This Week In Anger Management Issues: Shoving A Bug For Spraying You With String

By | 9 Comments

From the video description: After getting sprayed from point-blank range with some silly string, an upset Bruins fan goes after Tampa Bay's mascot and gives him a push.

SOCCER

Great, Now He’s Got Pink Eye

By | 6 Comments

I had no idea that soccer EMTs having no idea how to operate a stretcher and lifting dudes into their own asses was an epidemic, but apparently <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/when-carrying-a-player-off-on-a-stretcher-is-harder-than-it-should-be;_ylt=A2KJ3CXXnwRP52oAqkFNbK5_?urn=sow-wp5401">it has happened before</a> and Confianca player "Arthur" is its latest victim.

sam odio

The Jonathan's Card Story Takes A Turn For The Terrible

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Last week we told you, with happy hearts, about <a href="http://www.uproxx.com/tag/jonathans-card/">Jonathan's Card</a>, the pay-it-forward-y social experiment of an app developer named Jonathan Stark that <a href="http://www.uproxx.com/technology/2011/08/random-man-would-like-you-to-have-free-starbucks-coffee/">allowed people to buy cups of coffee for strangers using the barcode of his Starbucks card</a>.

PAZ DE LA HUERTA

Paz Being Paz Again

By | 22 Comments

Things don't feel quite right in the universe unless "Boardwalk Empire" actress Paz de la Huerta is pissing people off while her breasts desperately try to free themselves from her clothing, and I'm happy to report that everything is totally normal.

THIS WEEK IN SPOUSAL ABUSE

You Can’t Write That On FanHouse

By | 20 Comments

I spent three and a half years writing <a href="http://withleather.uproxx.com/tag/the-dugout">Dugouts</a> for AOL FanHouse, and only a few topics were taboo.

#NFL

Haynes Her Way

By | 3 Comments

In a situation that calls for both 1,000 and zero jokes, Washington Redskins defensive lineman Albert Haynesworth has been officially charged with misdemeanor sexual abuse for ordering food at a hotel, then paying for it in the grossest possible way.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio

Inmate-shaming Arizona sheriff finding new ways to shame inmates

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Let's face it, if the state of Arizona was a person, it'd be an assh*le -- that old, loud, inbred, racist uncle whose DNA link to you makes you cringe just thinking about it.

#NFL

Dan Snyder Hates Your Support

By | 6 Comments

Update: Dan Snyder is maybe not the nicest and coolest guy to ever run a football team.


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