SPORTS

Elvis Dumervil Leaves Broncos For Baltimore Ravens, Agrees To Five-Year Deal

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One of the dumbest sports stories we've heard in a while ended with fans of the Baltimore Ravens smiling.

#NFL

Bill Walton Just Said, 'F*ck It' Last Night

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Yesterday, Deadspin reported that <a href="http://deadspin.com/espn-suspends-bill-simmons-from-twitter-after-em-first-453717304?utm_campaign=socialflow_deadspin_twitter&utm_source=deadspin_twitter&utm_medium=socialflow">ESPN’s golden child and father of Grantland, Bill Simmons, had been unusually silent on Twitter for the past two days</a>, and it turned out that the Worldwide Leader has placed a gag order on him after he criticized First Take’s <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkPUj30GpPs">horrible debate segment between Skip Bayless and Seattle Seahawks DB Richard Sherman</a>.

THERE'S ALWAYS ROOM FOR JELL O

Everyone In San Francisco Gets Free Pudding Because The 49ers Lost The Super Bowl

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There was plenty for San Francisco 49ers fans to be bummed about in Super Bowl 47, from Colin Kaepernick throwing the first interception in the team’s glorious Super Bowl history to the team losing its first Super Bowl in six appearances to the questionable no-call on the possible holding on their 4th down play to the Ravens seemingly being offside on the 49ers’ 2-point conversion attempt that would have tied the game to not having Huey Lewis and the News involved at all.

#NFL

Super Bowl Celebration Fail

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At least one Ravens fan celebrated his team's victory by climbing, destroying, and falling from a Baltimore street sign.

#NFL

San Francisco Defeats Truman

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In the worst results-reporting since <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dewey_Defeats_Truman" target="_blank">Other Guy defeated What's-His-Face</a>, the NFL Network -- you know, the network with "NFL" in its name -- declared the San Francisco 49ers the winners of Super Bowl XVLII, knocking off the Ravens 34-31.

#NFL

Congratulations, Joe Flacco, Now You’re An Elite Television Curser

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The Baltimore Ravens won Super Bowl XLVII, but the highlight for me (besides the lights going out and The Shield putting Colin Kaepernick through a table) was Joe Flacco's description of the win as "f**kin' awesome.

#NFL

Ray Lewis Talks to Jesus and God

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Ray Lewis negotiates how much of a heavenly push the Ravens are going to get in the Super Bowl.

#jimmy fallon

Jimmy Fallon Used Puppies To Predict The Super Bowl Because SCIENCE

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We don’t get to talk about late night talk shows very much, not since Magic Johnson made sure that no athlete would ever again grace the stage of a major network.

super bowl music

Picking The Super Bowl Winner By Which City, San Francisco Or Baltimore, Has Better Songs

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Choosing the Super Bowl XLVII winner, either the 49ers or Ravens, by looking at the five most popular songs about San Francisco and Baltimore.

#AMAZON

Anyone Can Buy Deer Antler Spray And Be Just Like Ray Lewis… Allegedly

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Prior to this week, the most I’d ever known about anything involving deer came down to: 1) Venison is delicious as long as I convince myself it’s not Bambi and 2) You can buy deer piss in hunting stores.

#NFL

Saturday Night Live Did A Ray Lewis Thing, And Yes, It Was Kenan Thompson

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In a better world, Saturday Night Live sketches about football players would suddenly become super popular, and 80 minutes of every show would just be Kenan Thompson changing jerseys and doing the same voice to represent every black football player.

#NFL

SNL: Ray Lewis on Weekend Update

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Emotional linebacker Ray Lewis joins Weekend Update to talk about the upcoming Super Bowl.

#NFL

Taiwan Presents Super Bowl XLVII

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Taiwan Animation takes on Super Bowl XLVII, because of course they do.

#NFL

The Sports WAG Feud That Absolutely Nobody Asked For: Linda Hogan Vs. Anna Welker

By | 9 Comments

This week has already been highlighted by “news” that includes people <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6865235/twidiots-beyonce-the-treasonous-traitor">accusing Beyonce of treason for lip-syncing the National Anthem</a>, Manti Te’o playing <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/US/manti-teo-tells-katie-couric-briefly-lied-girlfriend/story?id=18290412">the “What would you do?” game</a> with Katie Couric, and Sheryl Crow, of all people, <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/entertainment/2013/01/sheryl-crow-on-ex-lance-armstrong-the-truth-will-set-you-free/">being dragged through the mud over Lance Armstrong</a> admitting that he used PEDs, so I think it’s safe to say that this is quite the slow news week.

#NFL

Just What 2013 Needed: A ‘Call Me Maybe’ Parody

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are you f**king kidding me If you needed a reason to hate the Baltimore Ravens, here is a group of their fans becoming an accessory to a goddamn Carly Rae Jepsen 'Call Me Maybe' cover in 2013.


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