SPORTS FANS

Watch Some Chelsea Fans Pretend To Know About Players Who Don’t Exist

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A Manchester United fan hit the street to ask Chelsea fans about new players that don't exist and of course they pretended to know about them.

SOCCER

SOCCER OWNER: ‘I’M ON A BOAT, MUTHAF-CKA’

By | 9 Comments

Last October, we got the specifics of the 550-foot, $400 million yacht that Chelsea owner/Russian billionaire/likely Bond villain Roman Abramovich was building: it would be the largest yacht in the world, and it would be equipped with missile defense radar, miniature escape submarine, private security force, two helipads, and a disco.

THE CHAAAMPIOOONS!

CHELSEA HOSED IN BIG SEMIFINAL GAME

By | 6 Comments

Some people are really bent out of shape about this Champions League semifinal result after Chelsea lost to FC Barcelona yesterday by the score of 1-1.

SOCCER

ROMAN ABRAMOVICH KICKS SO MUCH ASS

By | 14 Comments

Roman Abramovich, the shady Russian billionaire who owns soccer powerhouse Chelsea, is building his fourth yacht, a $400-million armored fortress with helipad, deployable submarine, floating harbor (aka "well deck"), and missile defense radar.

WAGS

ANATOMY 101 WITH CHERYL COLE

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The Champions League final between EPL powerhouses Manchester United and Chelsea is today or sometime soon, I'm not really sure.

SOCCER

CHELSEA PARTIED WITH JENNA JAMESON

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Chelsea's stars celebrated their Champions League semifinal win over Liverpool by heading out to chic London club Chinawhite, where they partied with Jenna Jameson, who unfortunately no longer looks anything like the picture above.

WAGS

CHERYL COLE AWESOMELY DEFENDS HUSBAND

By | 25 Comments

On Friday we learned of soccer star Ashley Cole's .

SOCCER

UMMM…

By | 21 Comments

This photo is of Chelsea's Frank Lampard (with fiancee Elen Rives) on the way to the team's Christmas party.

SOCCER

FRANK LAMPARD HAS DEMANDS

By | 43 Comments

Chelsea star Frank Lampard -- seen here with partner Elen Rives -- has been unable to come to terms for a new contract with the EPL juggernaut.

SOCCER

ENGLISH FOOTBALLERS ARE AWESOME, DRUNK

By | 28 Comments

Chelsea centre back and the captain of England's national team John Terry got married to 24-year-old Toni Poole (pictured) this weekend, and the bride insisted that former Commodores singer and Nicole-adopter Lionel Richie perform at the happy couple's reception.

SOCCER

BRITISH SOCCER FANS ARE ENTHUSIASTIC

By | 10 Comments

Man, if it weren't for The Offside, I might go a day without remembering that European soccer fans are absolutely fucking ridiculous.

SOCCER

CHELSEA BANS CELERY-THROWING FANS

By | 10 Comments

As we all know by now, international soccer fans are dangerous people, not to be trusted.

SOCCER

ABOU DIABY LAYS SOULS TO WASTE

By | 4 Comments

The best part about writing this blog is that when two of the best teams in the English Premier League play each other, I don't have to do anything time-consuming like watch the game and provide you with thoughtful commentary.


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