Aramis Sartorio

Chodin Reviews: The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol

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Sometimes people send me DVDs to review, and I have to call for back-up.


Guns, Horses & Insecurities: Reporting From the Set of True Grit XXX

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When I arrived on set it was a little before 9:00am.


Joaquin Claus Is Not Real: Phoenix Doc 'I'm Still Here' An Admitted Fake

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Well, now all the nonbelievers can finally add Disheveled Joaquin Phoenix to their list of imaginary holiday figures -Casey Affleck has officially revealed to the <a href="">New York Times</a> that his upcoming Joaquin Phoenix <a href="">fecal party</a>, I'm Still Here, is actually just a piece of performance art.


Joss Whedon Confirms Directing The Avengers, Fans Confirm Erections

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Am I the only one who feels like these red bumps just won't go away The Avengers project has been hanging around for, oh I don't know, say 30 years now.


Morning Links With The Choice Of A New Generation

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Happy Thursday, Drunkards and Drunkettes.


Awake Thy Greasy Sax Man, Lost Boys: The Thirst Trailer

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For everyone wearing a wristwatch right now, I'd like you all to please take a close look at the long and short hands of your clock.


Universal Soldier IV 3D: Dopey, Damme And Dolph

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And the award for Most Highbrow Photoshop Concept goes to.


Hollywood Sign Saved By Naked Girls and Cocaine

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It brings tears of joy to my eyes any time that I get to see a group of greed-stricken individuals put their differences aside and work together in the hopes of overthrowing a rival group of greed-stricken individuals.



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Okay, guys, don't freak out, but I have some business to attend to tomorrow, so I must leave you in the small-and-feminine, yet-surprisingly-capable hands of my hetero life partners Burnsy and Chodin.

Arthouse Films

‘Waste Land’ Rights Acquired: Brazilian Junk On U.S. Screens

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Oh thank God, just when I'd seen enough footage of all the ridiculously attractive people in Brazil, Arthouse Films crashes through the window and levels the playing field.


Friday Free For All: News Fail Compilation Edition

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Friday Free for All is the time of the week that Vince reserves for the funny, amazing, or stupid videos people send him that aren’t necessarily movie related.


Holy Sh-t: Birdemic Giveaway Day Two!

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(Just imagine, you could wear your very own purple shirt to the screening.



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Greetings, folks.



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Earlier this week I emerged from the woods and presented you all with the first trailer for <a href="">Cyrus</a>, starring John C.

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