retards

LANCE ARMSTRONG PWNS JACKASS

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Lance Armstrong finished seventh overall at the Tour of California (Armstrong's Astana team leader Levi Leipheimer <a href="http://www.amgentourofcalifornia.com/news/press/2009-stage8-results.html" target="_blank">won for the third straight year</a>), but the highlight was the seven-time Tour de France winner shoving this syringe-wielding jackass into a snow bank.

LANCE ARMSTRONG

LANCE IS STILL KINDA TOUCHY ABOUT CANCER

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Lance Armstrong's return to cycling is continuing with the nine-day Tour of California -- he's currently among the leaders <a href="http://www.kansascity.com/159/story/1036265.html">despite a stolen bike</a> -- and the 7-time Tour de France winner has still got plenty of fire.

POLICE BLOTTER

MAN BICYCLES 180 MILES TO SLEEP W/ TEENAGER

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The trial has begun for a 26-year-old man who allegedly <a href="http://www.scrantontimes.com/articles/2009/01/01/news/sc_times_trib.20090101.a.pg5.tt01rape_s1.2200681_loc.txt" target="_blank">bicycled 180 miles from Maryland to Pennsylvania</a> in order to have sex with a 15-year-old girl he met on MySpace.




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