TONY STEWART

Tony Stewart Thinks Danica Patrick Should Put A Checkered Flag In Richard Petty’s Butt

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While it wouldn't really settle much, Tony Stewart suggested that Danica Patrick beat Richard Petty in a race and 'cram a checkered flag up his butt.'

sexism

Richard Petty Has A Real Hot Take On How Danica Patrick Can Win In NASCAR

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NASCAR legend Richard Petty said that the only way Danica Patrick will ever win a race is by being the only person on the track.

#COMEDY CENTRAL

Sports On TV: South Park’s 20 Greatest Sports Moments

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Edit: We're re-running this today in celebration of the 16th anniversary (to the day) of 'South Park's' first airing.

SHOOT THE PUCK

Danica Patrick Wants To See Hockey Fights, Is Suddenly Great At Hockey

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Danica Patrick was first woman to start on the pole at the Daytona 500, led a lap and finished in 8th place.

PIT CREW

Move Over Danica Patrick, The Daytona 500 Is All About Christmas Abbott

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Now that Danica Patrick has won the pole for the 2013 Daytona 500 this Sunday on Fox, the media can begin this season’s most common pre-race question: <a href="http://www.foxnews.com/sports/2013/02/19/cup-can-danica-win-daytona-500/">“Will Danica Patrick become the first woman to win the Daytona 500?”</a> And then it will be asked at the next race, the race after that and so on, because until she wins a race, it will be the easiest question a NASCAR writer can write.

SUPER BOWL ADS

This Dude Should Never Wash His Face Again

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Despite being a bro who loves the ladies, I’ve never really enjoyed Go Daddy’s overly suggestive Super Bowl spots, because they typically lack creativity.

#COMMERCIALS

Bar Refaeli’s Perfect Match (GoDaddy Super Bowl Commercial)

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Sexy meets smart in GoDaddy's 2013 Super Bowl commercial.

NASCAR

Good News, Good Old Boys: Danica Patrick Is Hitting The Open Market

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Divorce is never cause for celebration, unless it involves Olivia Wilde in a year or so – sorry, Jason Sudeikis, we love you but… it’s an Internet thing – and it pains me to bring more light to the recent news that NASCAR’s first lady of turning left, Danica Patrick, and her husband, that guy who she married, are indeed calling quits after seven years.

#music videos

Danica Patrick Stars As A Sexy Car Thief, Because Of Course She Does

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In country star Miranda Lambert's video for 'Fastest Girl In Town', Miranda stars as a sexy local who may or may not know how to properly smoke a cigarette who uses her feminine wiles to lure unsuspecting billiards hunks away and steal their cars.

#video games

Will Blast Processing Help Danica Patrick Be A Better Driver?

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I'm just slumming it on the sports blog until they <a href="http://gammasquad.uproxx.com/2012/05/the-funny-sexy-and-awesome-cosplay-of-dallas-comic-con-2012#page/1" target="_blank">make me full-time over at Gamma Squad</a>, so I'm excited to announce that NASCAR beauty Danica Patrick will be appearing alongside Sonic the Hedgehog in the upcoming multi-platform kart racer Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed.

WOMEN BE CRASHING

Danica Patrick Wants Racing To Be Easier

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This year's Daytona 500 was undoubtedly one of the strangest in recent memory.

#Twitter

Maybe Next Time, Juan Pablo Montoya

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After a 36-hour delay and what felt like 36 caution flags, Matt Kenseth was finally declared the winner of the 2012 Daytona 500 after he held off the feisty Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

VOLKSWAGEN

How To Make A Super Bowl Commercial, From The Masters Of Making Sh*tty Things (Updated)

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And when all else fails, just reference Star Wars, whether it fits your product or not.

#Justin Bieber

Brooklyn Decker, Emmanuelle Chiqrui, And The Best Of The 2011 ESPYs

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Chances are if you watched the ESPYs last night you're either way too desperate for sports, a 13-year old girl obsessed with Justin Bieber, a young male perv obsessed with Brooklyn Decker, or you lost your remote.

#Justin Bieber

5.25 The Cooler

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Destiny 9 Things Every Guy Should Have In His Wallet [Guyism] The First White Rappers: A History Lesson [T.R.O.Y.] First Look At The Villian In Thor [FilmDrunk] The Danica Patrick Whining Needs To Stop [With Leather] A Guide To Complaints That Get Results [NYT] Rihanna Talks [...].

INDIANAPOLIS 500

The Danica Patrick Whining Needs To Stop

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It's late May, which means it's time for our annual catch-up with Danica Patrick.

NATALIE GULBIS

Lane Kiffin: The Sexiest Woman Alive?

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He very well could be, at least as far as Esquire magazine's "Sexiest Woman Alive" tournament is concerned.

NASCAR

PATRICK'S DEBUT WAS SMASHING

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Danica Patrick made her NASCAR debut yesterday in Daytona, and things didn't go as well as she'd hoped.


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