EPL

Wayne Rooney Is Good At Soccer

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We finally tracked down some video of Wayne Rooney's bicycle kick goal against Man City over the weekend.

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE

The Transfer Season Begins: Villa to Barca, Aguero to Chelsea?

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<a href="http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=779543&sec=transfers&cc=5901"> In the midst of a tight title race, Barcelona seems to be eager for greater separation from Madrid come next season. If <a href="http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=779543&sec=transfers&cc=5901">preliminary reports</a> out of Spain are to be believed, then the biggest transfer of the summer is complete and David Villa will soon don the blaugrana.

EPL

CRAIG BELLAMY HATES YOUR FACE

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Seriously, I love British people.

AUTOS

HAVE $225K CAR, NO LICENSE, WILL TRAVEL

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I didn't know who Carlos Tevez was, even though he plays for arguably the most famous fútbol club in the world.

ARSENAL

THIS ANDREY ARSHAVIN FELLOW IS ALL RIGHT

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Andrey Arshavin, the Russian star acquired by Arsenal in a £16M transfer -- yes, the same guy who <a href="http://withleather.uproxx.com/?p=14595" target="_self">designs women's clothes</a> -- has some awesomely <a href="http://www.goal.com/en-us/news/85/england/2009/02/05/1095382/new-arsenal-signing-andrey-arshavin-ban-women-drivers" target="_blank">progressive ideas about gender roles</a>.

ARSENAL

SOCCER STAR DESIGNS WOMEN’S CLOTHES

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Andrey Arshevin, a Russian soccer star newly transferred to Arsenal, <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1135595/Arshavin-Dont-tell-new-Arsenal-team-mates-I-design-womens-clothes.html?ITO=1490" target="_blank">has his own clothing line</a> "ranging from dresses to sportswear" in his native country, where it is popular with women.

AUTOS

CRISTIANO RONALDO IS A GREAT DRIVER

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Manchester United star/prostitute aficionado Cristiano Ronaldo was driving from Manchester Airport when <a href="http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2109674.ece" target="_blank">he totaled his $300,000 Ferrari</a>.

EPL

MYSPACE AND CEMETERIES: MODERN LOVE

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It's a happy day for Britain's bikini models who aspire to be WAGs: Liverpool's Jermaine Pennant has proposed to Page 3 model Amii Grove.

EPL

FAN WHO PUNCHED HORSE GETS BANNED

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A Premiership soccer fan was banned from games for three years after he <a href="http://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/news/3832632.Ban_for_football_fan_who_hit_horse/" target="_blank">punched a police horse</a> during an August match between Stoke City and Bolton.

EPL

JOE KINNEAR SEEMS NICE

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Things aren't going all that well for Newcastle United.

EPL

CRISTIANO RONALDO AND A HOOKER? NO!

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Manchester United striker Cristiano Ronaldo, the man who famously enjoyed a five-hooker orgy with teammates, will surely be shocked to learn that "Fernanda," one of the women he keeps on the side, is -- wait for it -- a hooker.

assholes

JOEY BARTON SEEMS LIKE A NICE GUY

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This video was released a couple days ago, but I'm still wondering how former Manchester City midfielder Joey Barton completely avoided jail time for his May 2007 attack of teammate Ousmane Dabo.

ARSENAL

VIDEO: SOCCER STAR FABREGAS SET ON FIRE

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Here you see Arsenal midfielder Cesc Fabregas getting set on fire.

CHELSEA BLUES

CHELSEA PARTIED WITH JENNA JAMESON

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Chelsea's stars celebrated their Champions League semifinal win over Liverpool by heading out to chic London club Chinawhite, where they <a href="http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/article1113716.ece" target="_blank">partied with Jenna Jameson</a>, who unfortunately no longer looks anything like the picture above.

CRISTIANO RONALDO

BAM!

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As <a href="http://withleather.com/post.phtml?pk=5457">noted before</a>, Manchester United uber-striker and hooker aficionado Cristiano Ronaldo is dating a little-known aspiring model named Nereida Gallardo.

DOUCHEBAGS

ASHLEY COLE IS A JACKASS

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Chelsea soccer star Ashley Cole, estranged from pop-star wife Cheryl Cole (née Tweedy) following tabloid stories about his extramarital affairs with four different women, is doing what any real man would do: seeking forgiveness and cleaning up his act.

CRISTIANO RONALDO

RONALDO’S NEW G/F BAD AT WEARING SHIRTS

By | 15 Comments

Cristiano Ronaldo is 23 years old, the best player on arguably the best pro soccer team in the world, fabulously wealthy, better looking than you, and completely unapologetic about employing hookers whenever he damn well wants.

EPL

ABBEY CLANCY IS IN FHM, EVERYWHERE ELSE

By | 13 Comments

Abigail Clancy -- model, reality TV star, and girlfriend of England striker Peter Crouch -- is goddam everywhere I look these days.


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