#NFL

Breaking: JaMarcus Russell Is Fat

By | 11 Comments

<a href="http://withleather.uproxx.com/2010/04/breaking-jamarcus-russell-is-fat/jamarcus-russell-gabourey-sidibe" rel="attachment wp-att-29503"></a>Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell does his job much like you do yours--he's easily distracted, eats too much, and has terrific taste in online sports literature.

#COMMERCIALS

Oh, That’s Not Nice

By | 28 Comments

As soon as I saw the supposedly controversial <a href="http://www.uproxx.com/tv/2010/04/abc-hates-plus-sized-tits" target="_self">Lane Bryant commercial</a> yesterday, my first inclination was to Photoshop a fat joke onto the model's BlackBerry (<a href="http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2009/01/the-eyes-are-the-mouth-of-the-soul.html" target="_blank">I have a thing for cell phone Photoshops</a>), but I didn't because (a) I was feeling lazy and (b) I kinda had the hots for that model.

FATTIES

EATING HER WAY INTO THE RECORD BOOKS

By | 19 Comments

This is Donna Simpson, and she is fat.

SOUTHWEST

KEVIN SMITH WON’T SHUT UP ABOUT THIS STUPID PLANE THING

By | 37 Comments

When I first saw the link "Kevin Smith issues final statement on the Southwest incident", I was pleasantly surprised, first by the words "final statement", then by the fact that the accompanying YouTube video was only three minutes long.

THE BIGGEST LOSER

EVERYONE IS SUING JILLIAN MICHAELS

By | 14 Comments

"Biggest Loser" trainer Jillian Michaels -- the only woman I'd trust to rape me with the appropriate amount of force -- has fielded three different lawsuits in the last week or so because fatties are upset that her diet pills don't work.

SOUTHWEST

HAHAHA, KEVIN SMITH IS TOO FAT TO FLY SOUTHWEST

By | 84 Comments

<a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/KEvinSmith-Maury.jpg"></a>Film director and well-known tubby f*ck Kevin Smith was recently kicked off a Southwest flight for being too fat.

Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution

FAT PEOPLE ARE DESPICABLE

By | 20 Comments

Here's the trailer (video below) for "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution," which debuts on ABC March 26th.

WATER SPORTS

PRESENTING ‘FAT GUY VS. LAKE’

By | 5 Comments

I don't care who you are or how much you hate cruelty to other people or how many trees you hugged last week.

#COMMERCIALS

THE FREEDOM TRAY IS JUST WHAT YOUR FAT CLUMSY ASS NEEDS

By | 12 Comments

While watching the Pitt-West Virgina game on Friday night, I saw this ad for the Freedom Tray, a ridiculous product with an even more ridiculous advertising pitch.

FATTIES

ADVENTURES IN MECHANICAL BULL-RIDING

By | 7 Comments

Here's an enterprising young lady who, despite the articulate and clever taunts from the crowded bar, decided to climb onto a mechanical bull for a ride.

News

VIDEO: SQUIRREL IN A FAT LADY’S CLEAVAGE

By | 11 Comments

Police interviewed a woman during a murder investigation, and of course a squirrel popped out of her cleavage.

THE BIGGEST LOSER

‘BIGGEST LOSER’ TARGETS FATTEST CITIES

By | 22 Comments

Last week, the people behind NBC's "The Biggest Loser" announced a shake-up to the show's format: a move from fat-ass partners back to the original every-pig-for-himself competition, <a href="http://www.thrfeed.com/2009/02/biggest-loser-americas-fattest-cities-next-fall.html" target="_blank">with a geographical twist</a>: Reveille, 3 Ball and 24/7 intend to cast singles for the fall edition of the show from cities topping an annual "Fattest Cities in America" list.

MY MOMS HOT BOYFRIEND

MEG RYAN LOVES FOOD, LSU

By | 43 Comments

The <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1038336/Hollywood-sweetheart-Meg-Ryan-gains-stone--donning-fat-suit.html" target="_blank">Daily Mail</a> today has pictures of Meg Ryan looking fat, and *yoink* now I have them.

ROBERT DOWNEY JR.

FAVREAU BACK FOR IRON MAN 2. MAYBE.

By | 18 Comments

Nikki Finke (who should really be a 30s gangster henchman with that name) is reporting that Jon Favreau and Marvel have reached a deal for Favreau to direct the sequel to Iron Man, due in 2010.

#NFL

'THIS POPCORN IS GOOD'

By | 50 Comments

I get a fair amount of hate mail.

#UFC

NEW FAVORITE SPORT: FAT KID BEATING

By | 30 Comments

Is it awful that pro MMA fighter <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Rothwell" target="_blank">Ben Rothwell</a> was allowed to beat the shit out of a fat kid in front of a huge audience.

Football

WATCH OUT, ASHLEY!

By | 25 Comments

Perhaps I haven't given the CFL enough of a chance.


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