Posts Tagged: FLORIDA GATORS

bad parents

Urban Meyer Has Ruined A Child’s Life

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I've often joked that the Florida Gators and their fans were the nouveau riche of college football, having a long history of being the distant 3rd in Florida's "Big 3" until only recently coming into success and fame.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL

Report: Urban Meyer Denies Having Bladder, Pisses All Over The Place

By | 8 Comments

Remember when we cared so much about the Ohio State White Elephant Gift Exchange Scandal that tattoo parlor operators were being sent to jail and players were getting suspended by the NFL for things they might've done in college.

2011 NFL LOCKOUT

People Actually Buy Channing Crowder Jerseys?

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While the NFL Lockout continues, players are still forced to look elsewhere for around-the-clock attention, so it was no surprise that Miami Dolphins linebacker Channing Crowder returned to his South Florida radio show the other day.

DAVID TYREE

You Deserve A Statue Of Tim Tebow

By | 5 Comments

While the NFL owners and players may or may not be <a href="http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/43480308/">nearing a deal</a> that could give the players a 48% cut of total revenue, it’s good to know that some football fans still have the opportunity to spend their money wisely.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL

Not Pictured: Doodoo

By | 8 Comments

It shouldn't be surprising that a guy with a name like a terrible Game Boy game (Ja'Juan Story) would say something shocking and hilarious in an interview, but here we are, being a little surprised.

ESPN

The Time-Traveler’s Erin Andrews

By | 6 Comments

University of Florida basketball standout Chandler Parsons has already been named the 2011 SEC Player of the Year, but today he's going for a much bigger prize: King of the Internet.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL

Urban Meyer’s Daughter is Hot and Breaking News

By | 10 Comments

Urban Meyer's foxy volleyball daughter Nicki has lashed out at her own smart phone over talk that her famous father is headed to Columbus take over as head football coach at Ohio State.

COACHES

Tim Tebow Is A Coach Killer

By | 12 Comments

Tim Tebow has played for two head coaches since 2006.

ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE

College Football Fans Love Rap Music

By | 3 Comments

If you’re anything like me, you’ve got multiple restraining orders against Victoria’s Secret models and you vaguely remember watching ESPN’s “Dream Job” reality series, which lasted three seasons.

FLORIDA GATORS

Quiddich Now An Official Sport At Florida…Sort Of

By | 8 Comments

Quiddich is gaining traction as a sport, which is pretty amazing considering that its origins came from the mind of an English woman working in a coffee house on the best-selling series of books in our day.

BARACK OBAMA

Florida Man Files Restraining Orders Against Tebow, Obama, Jesus, Sanity

By | 10 Comments

A Florida man went to court in Alachua County recently to file for restraining orders against Tim Tebow, Barack Obama and Jesus.

AUBURN TIGERS

Cam Newton Wanted To Get Paid*

By | 9 Comments

*Allegedly Former Mississippi State player and servant to the Queen of England, John Bond, has made allegations that Auburn University quarterback and Heisman Trophy frontrunner Cam “Isaac” Newton expressed interest in transferring to MSU from junior college last year, but Newton was expecting $180,000 for his services, according to another former MSU football player.

URBAN MEYER

Settle Down, Florida Gators Fans

By | 10 Comments

Yesterday I showed a rare act of kindness to our Florida Gators friends and readers by not reveling in the fact that the team lost its third straight game for the first time in 22 years, dropped from the Top 25 rankings, and has fallen into a world of uncertainty and chaos.

FLORIDA GATORS

Excuse Me, Coming Through

By | 10 Comments

I was going to write a post boasting about how the Florida Gators have lost three games in a row for the first time since 1988 and how only scoring 7 points against Mississippi State is such a UCF thing to do*, but then I was lambasted by some of my Gators friends via email and Facebook and I decided that I will let the lizards stew in their own sucky juices for a few more weeks until they inevitably wind up playing UCF in the Liberty Bowl in Memphis and pay me back for my dickish ways.

ARRESTS

It’s Time For Chris Rainey To Play, B*tch

By | 6 Comments

A few weeks ago, former Florida Gators receiver Chris Rainey was arrested for aggravated stalking, which I assume means that he was stalking but he wasn’t good at it so he just became so aggravated.

FLORIDA GATORS

And Now Your Drunk Fans Of The Week

By | 9 Comments

Far be it for any of us to pretend to be high and mighty drunks, so when people are caught on camera incoherent and stumbling around a sports venue, I like to think of it more as a celebration of free spirits than a criticism of too many spirits.

CBS

This Week In Athlete Death Threats

By | 14 Comments

CBS Football loud yeller Shannon Sharpe is taking some time off after being accused of forcing a woman to have sex with him, making death threats against her, and stalking her.

AMATEUR PORN

Reebok Not Endorsing NFL’s Newest Porn Star

By | 3 Comments

Patriots rookie Brandon Spikes might have just f*cked himself out of a shoe deal.

ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE

Florida To Honor Tebow With Erection

By | 8 Comments

Somebody once chiseled on stone something about not worshipping false idols, but they never laid eyes on Tim Tebow’s chiseled abs.

FLORIDA GATORS

Urban Meyer Also Hates Golf Writers

By | 3 Comments

Most people hate only a certain number of writers, and can live with the rest.


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