FLORIDA MARLINS

PETA: Everyone’s Screwing The Fish

By | 11 Comments

As the Florida Marlins continue to design the nuances and luxuries of their new $515 million Miami Ballpark, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have taken issue with the team’s decision to place two giant aquariums – featuring live exotic fish – behind home plate.

FLORIDA MARLINS

Marlins’ Ramirez Jogs Away With Tuesday Suck-Off

By | 4 Comments

Monday night's action was chock full of fail: The Pirates <a href="http://mlb.mlb.com/news/boxscore.jsp?gid=2010_05_17_pitmlb_phimlb_1">were blown out</a>, the Lakers <a href="http://www.nba.com/games/20100517/PHXLAL/gameinfo.html?ls=gt2hp0040900311#nbaGllive">put a hurting on the Suns</a>, and the NHL didn't even schedule a game.

FLORIDA MARLINS

Creed, Marlins Find New Way To Suck

By | 6 Comments

Chalk this up to "Crap That I Don't Really Find Amusing But Post Anyway So People Stop Sending It To Me.

COMEDIC EJECTIONS

VICTORINO GETS LONG-DISTANCE EJECTION

By | 3 Comments

Phillies outfielder Shane Victorino was ejected from yesterday's game against Florida for arguing balls and strikes with home-plate umpire Ed Rapuano.

FLORIDA MARLINS

GREATEST BASEBALL FIGHT VIDEO EVER

By | 17 Comments

UPDATE: Some of the parties involved apparently have been emailing <a href="http://deadspin.com/5302047/deep-inside-the-yankee+marlin-fan-brawl">Deadspin</a>.

FLORIDA MARLINS

JOSH JOHNSON WON…BUT WAS IT BORING?

By | 7 Comments

<a href="http://www.asylum.com/2009/04/13/do-you-enjoy-an-old-fashioned-pitchers-duel/">ASYLUM POLL</a>: Do you enjoy a pitchers' duel.

FLORIDA MARLINS

MARLIN MERMAIDS GIVE GREAT NOSE

By | 4 Comments

<a href="http://www.uncoached.com/2009/04/06/baseball-season-means-i-get-to-see-the-marlins-mermaids-partying/">Uncoached</a> has unearthed one of the few redeeming features of baseball season: the Marlin Mermaids.

CUBA

NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THE MARLINS

By | 8 Comments

Somebody once made the point that if a city has more plentiful options for entertainment, said city becomes less of a "sports town.

FAT FUCKS

OPENING DAY BASEBALLAPALOOZA

By | 9 Comments

If you don't count the games in Japan and last night's Braves-Nats game, today is Opening Day for Major League Baseball.

FLORIDA MARLINS

THE MARLINS PICKED THEIR CHEERLEADERS

By | 12 Comments

I was thinking that the Marlins Mermaids were some kind of brand new development in baseball, but it turns out the squad has been around for five years.

FLORIDA MARLINS

THIS GUY IS A PIMP

By | 21 Comments

As noted in <a href="../post.phtml?pk=5218">this morning's SAN</a>, Marlins reliever Logan Kensing <a href="http://www.palmbeachpost.com/localnews/content/local_news/epaper/2008/03/09/a2a_josecol_0309.html?imw=Y" target="_blank">hunts wild boar and coyotes</a> on his Texas ranch.

CHEERLEADERS

MARLINS DISCOVER USE FOR FAT PEOPLE

By | 19 Comments

Fresh on the heels of the Florida Marlins making the brilliant decision to form a cheerleading squad, the organization has set out to negate any sexiness at the ballpark by holding<a href="http://florida.marlins.mlb.com/fla/fan_forum/manatees.jsp" target="_blank"> tryouts for the Marlins Manatees</a>.

FLORIDA MARLINS

THE MARLINS ARE SEXY ALL BY THEMSELVES

By | 17 Comments

The Florida Marlins may not have any players that I've ever heard of, any chance of winning any games this year or anyone to watch them do it, but the elemental force of sexiness sides with them, as is evidenced by this video from <a href="http://homerderby.com/archives/1793" target="_blank">Homer Run Derby</a> of the 2008 Marlins Mermaids tryouts from over the weekend.

FLORIDA MARLINS

THE METS ARE IMPLODING

By | 26 Comments

I know that we've already performed the autopsy on baseball, dressed it up in a suit, and had a nice funeral where we danced on its grave, but I'd like to dig it up and poke the corpse with a stick, if you don't mind.

FLORIDA MARLINS

MARLINS CELEBRATE JEWISH NEW YEAR

By | 8 Comments

In deference to the Jewish holiday Rosh Hashanah, the <a href="http://www.palmbeachpost.com/marlins/content/sports/epaper/2007/09/13/a1c_marlins_0913.html?cxtype=rss&cxsvc=7&cxcat=46" title="Palm Beach Post" target="_blank">Marlins changed their game time yesterday from 7:05 to 1:05</a> and a big crowd showed up to watch the Fish battle the Nats:Forget the announced attendance of 10,121 for the Marlins-Nationals game at Dolphin Stadium.

ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS

THE DIAMONDBACKS ARE HOT

By | 14 Comments

I don't think I've noticed the Arizona Diamondbacks all year.

FLORIDA MARLINS

MARLINS PITCHER DRUNK, TASERED, ARRESTED

By | 19 Comments

This story is a leftover from the weekend, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't write about that wonderful and not-entirely rare combination of an athlete driving drunk and getting tasered while resisting arrest.


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