WHEN GIRLS BASKETBALL GOES MORE WRONG THAN USUAL

You Ever Notice How White Athletes Say The Craziest Things When They Warm Up?

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It seems like only yesterday the worst thing we had to worry about when it came to high school basketball was a couple kids <a href="http://withleather.uproxx.com/2011/12/well-this-is-pretty-darn-disgusting-news">racing to avoid the ookie cookie</a>.

MOMS ALWAYS RUIN THE FUN

This Cheerleader’s Mom Seems Rational

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This past Saturday, the first annual Louisiana High School Athletic Association Cheer and Dance Competition was held in Lake Charles, LA and I can only assume that the spirit fingers were in full effect.

HIGH SCHOOL SPORTS

Despite What This Video Says, There Is A Way, Yo

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Taking the Sports-o-sphere by storm today is this video from a Connecticut high school football game between Hillhouse and North Haven.

#MEMES

Memes Have No Place In Sports, Bro

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One of the things we love most here at the Uproxx Fortress of Porn Solitude is free porn a good meme.

TEXAS

It's Hot In Texas. HOW HOT IS IT?

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Texas is in the middle of a heatwave and drought that will take us through 40-plus days of 100-degree-plus weather.

#MLB

Chicago Cubs Sign Donkey Lips

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I wonder if sometimes Major League Baseball scouts get tired of evaluating potential and dissecting physical minutia and just want to say "f**k it" and sign the biggest, fattest, hardest hitting guy they can find.

SOCCER

He Once Got Busy in a Burger King Bathroom

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61-year old Lakeland High School girls soccer coach Joseph Kovaleski has been arrested for repeatedly exposing his genitals and fondling himself in front of Burger King employees.

INSPIRING STORIES

High School Senior Proves Batting Average is Meaningless Statistic

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This is Rocco Amendola, a senior at Norwin High School in North Huntingdon, PA, who looks a bit like Randy Quaid because he was hit in the face by an errant warmup throw and lost an eye.

TOSH.0

Hurdle Fail Girls Got A Web Redemption

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<a href="http://tosh.comedycentral.com/video-clips/web-rematch---hurdle-fail-girls">Tosh.0</a>Tags: <a href='http://tosh.comedycentral.com/video-clips'>Tosh.0 Videos</a>,<a href='http://tosh.comedycentral.com/'>Daniel Tosh</a>,<a href='http://tosh.comedycentral.com/segments/web-redemption/'>Web Redemption</a> You probably don't remember those really terrible high school hurdlers from November, but they had a second shot at athletic glory on "Tosh.

WOMEN BE FALLING

Hurdler’s Problems Inspire The World

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As professional basketball player Dwyane Wade and his endorsements would tell us, “Fall down 7 times, get up 8.

whoops

Excuse Me, Coming Through

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I was going to write a post boasting about how the Florida Gators have lost three games in a row for the first time since 1988 and how only scoring 7 points against Mississippi State is such a UCF thing to do*, but then I was lambasted by some of my Gators friends via email and Facebook and I decided that I will let the lizards stew in their own sucky juices for a few more weeks until they inevitably wind up playing UCF in the Liberty Bowl in Memphis and pay me back for my dickish ways.

VOLLEYBALL

Mom Pulls Gun On Volleyball Team. Whoooooa ACE!

By | 9 Comments

File this under Texas Being Texas: A currently-unidentified woman pulled a gun on a seventh-grade volleyball team last night.

whoops

Swagger Rating: Zero

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The option is one of the great plays in football, which makes it so hard to defend.

ouch my groin

‘Sack Tapping’ Bad For Your Junk

By | 8 Comments

You're not going to believe this, but apparently punching other people in the testicular region can cause lasting damage.

KIDS ARE OUR FUTURE UNLESS WE STOP THEM

HS Kids Won’t Face Charges For ‘Beating The Jew’

By | 12 Comments

A group of California high school students have been reprimanded for a racing game that some referred to as "Beating the Jew.

NBA

Buy Kobe’s High School Yearbooks

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Do you want to buy Kobe Bryant's four high school yearbooks.

HIGH SCHOOL SPORTS

High School Baseball Player Pees On The Field–During The National Anthem

By | 7 Comments

A Virginia high school baseball player caused a ruckus when he peed on the baseball field during the national anthem.

POLE VAULTING

‘Friendship Bracelet’ Is The New ‘Tuck Rule’

By | 15 Comments

Robin Laird, a California high school pole vaulter, just got jobbed at her league championship track meet when she was disqualified for wearing.

MASSHOLES

Mass. HS: ‘We’re Cutting All Sports’

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A Massachusetts school district is threatening to cut its entire athletic program--as well as all other after-school activities--in order to make up a budget shortfall.


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