AUSTIN

UPROXX @ SXSW: Quiet Company At The Main

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In case you were wondering, yes, it is possible to rock the hell out on a trombone.

Documentaries

‘Monumental': Kirk Cameron dreams of a more Reagan-y ‘Murica

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Kirk Cameron is worried about where this country's headed.

broncos

SNL Mocked Tim Tebow On Saturday Night, While The Internet Is Mocking Him Today

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Over the weekend, SNL mocked increasingly ubiquitous Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow with a skit in which Jesus appears in the teams locker room to tell the evangelical Christian quarterback to tone it down a bit.

50 CENT

God Bless The Morning Links

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Links What Tim Tebow Is Saying While He's Tebowing - "Jesusly" is an adjective (adverb.

BUTT-SCOOT DOG

Jesus loves your mullet trophies, and Morning Links

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Of course Jesus loves the First-Place Mullet kid, aka young Pauly Dangerously.

#arrested development

Hey Possible Nephew

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A few in-house links, to start - <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/With-Leather/119737589217">Like us on Facebook!</a> We have a human (me) updating it now, so no more robot copy-pasta.

JERRY LAWLER

WWE Causes ‘Anal Bleeding’ To Trend: Not What You Think, We Swear

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Last night's episode of WWE Raw caused "anal bleeding" to become a trending topic on Twitter.

EBAY

50 Objects That Look A Little Like Jesus

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As thousands of Harold Camping's followers have changed their personal planners to highlight October 21 as the new date of the Rapture, a woman in a Chicago suburb believes that something big happened on May 21 after all.

Cats

Rapturous Links

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Saturday's Best Rapture Bombs [Uproxx] A Tribute in remembrance of Macho Man Randy Savage [Uproxx] Monkey in a dress steals the show at the Hangover 2 premiere [Filmdrunk] Ten Essential Books About Television [WarmingGlow] Mom Sues Four Loko Over Son’s Death [TSS] First Picture Of [...].

FORBES

Tim Tebow Lords Over All He Surveys (But Not That Kind of Lord)

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Forbes has released their annual <a href="http://www.forbes.com/2011/05/09/most-influential-athletes.html">Top 10 Most Influential Athletes list</a>, and for the second year in a row, happy-to-not-be-aborted NFL quarterback Tim Tebow has ranked in the top ten.

CHRISTIANS

Jim Caviezel says Jesus ruined his career

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It's hard to deny that before Passion of the Christ, Jim Caviezel seemed like a star on the rise (Count of Monte Cristo is a guilty pleasure of mine).

Jesus Freaks

Franklin Graham: Jesus will announce his 2nd coming via social media

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For generations, Jesus freaks have been claiming that the second coming of Christ was just around the corner -- based on their own creative interpretations of the bible, known in some circles as delusion -- a time in which believers would be swept away on the Lord's chariot during the Rapture, whisked off into the clouds to live forever to a soundtrack of harp music with their arrogant, petty, insecure God.

JESUS

The Last Supper reimagined, starring Snoop Dogg

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Since today is Holy Thursday, also known as Maundy Thursday in some circles -- the day that commemorates the Last Supper -- I figured I'd leave you with some sacrilege.

JESUS

The Dugout: Atlanta Braves Spring Training 2011

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The Dugout's Spring Training 2011 event continues this afternoon with the Atlanta Braves, and the very real, serious story of minor league manager <a href="http://www.kxan.com/dpps/sports/mlb/other_mlb/braves-coach-loses-eye-after-hit-by-line-drive-nt11-jpe-_3748647">Luis Salazar losing a body part</a> because he never became one with The Matrix and couldn't dodge a line drive off the bat of Brian McCann.

AMATEUR WRESTLING

It’s Wrasslin’ But With More Jesus

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As a founding member of the Church of Blake Lively’s Chest, I’m a man who doesn’t like to talk too much about religion since it’s such a polarizing subject.

ANDY WARHOL

Strokes Of Genius: 20 Famous Works Of Art Given A Modern Update

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Being America’s most eligible bachelor means that I’ve long been an expert of maintaining a sophisticated and stylish home that is indicative of a classy love stallion.

I WANT A JET PACK FOR CHRISTMAS

The Gospel According To Ron Artest

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I'm not one of these people that interjects "Merry Christmas" whenever someone offers wishes of "Happy Holidays," but I bet that most of you, especially our chosen readers, can handle this latest gem from Lakers big man Ron Artest, who was asked about Kobe Bryant's ejection from Tuesday night's game, which somehow led into a conversation about how Jesus would have fared in the NBA.

BARACK OBAMA

Florida Man Files Restraining Orders Against Tebow, Obama, Jesus, Sanity

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A Florida man went to court in Alachua County recently to file for restraining orders against Tim Tebow, Barack Obama and Jesus.

EVERYTHING ELSE

Christ Grew Tired Of His End Zone Pose

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<a href="http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/2010/06/touchdown-jesus-gets-struck-by-lightning"> The odds of you being struck by lightning is like 576,000 to 1 or some disproportionate ratio that's never actually going to happen. So out of all things this "freak of nature" could strike -- a diner, a parked car, a rutabaga plant -- destroying a 65 foot statue of Jesus that was signaling a touchdown-like pose would seem a bit like an omen, don't ya think? The only thing more substantive would be for The Man himself to descend from the heavens and throw a yellow flag on the play. But Monroe, OH (nope, don't know where it's at) just experienced such a shocking revelation. What you see above is the remains of the Solid Rock Church's six-point Savior. And wouldn't you know, the crazy congregation already has plans of resurrecting the statue from the dead. Costs for repair are estimated at $700,000. Most likely, an extra $200,000 can be tacked on if they plan on putting Him in the Heisman stance. <a href="http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2010/06/15/touchdown-jesus-builder-wants-ohios-king-of-kings-statue-to-rise-again/">Touchdown Jesus: Builder Wants Ohio’s King of Kings Statue To Rise Again [The Wall Street Journal]</a>.




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