KIMBO SLICE

BLACKFACE IS ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA

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Seth Petruzelli memorably <a href="http://withleather.uproxx.com/?p=10203" target="_self">defeated Kimbo Slice in 13 seconds</a> in Elite XC's last fight ever.

ELITEXC

ELITE XC FAILED SPECTACULARLY

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Mixed martial arts promotional brand EliteXC and its parent company ProElite have folded, according to an <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/writers/josh_gross/10/20/elitexc/?eref=sircrc" target="_blank">SI.com report</a>.

ELITEXC

KIMBO SLICE IS OFFICIALLY A FRAUD

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Fast-forward to 4:55 for the beat-down Saturday night's EliteXC card wasn't particularly awful to watch, but it was disastrous for CBS.

assholes

KIMBO SLICE IS DISAPPOINTING

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Kimbo Slice had the chance to punch "magician" David Blaine in the stomach during Blaine's TV special last night, and this is an obvious bit of fakery.

FIGHTING

SERBIAN HOOLIGAN GETS 10 YEARS IN PRISON

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While pussy-ass English hoolies are limiting themselves to boring old fist-fighting, Serbian hooligans <a href="http://www.theoffside.com/world-football/serbian-hooligan-gets-10-year-sentence.html" target="_blank">take that extra step</a> towards terrorism and organized crime, as they do things like vandalize their own players' cars to intimidate them and <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/feedarticle/7811136" target="_blank">shove road flares down police officers' throats</a>.

FIGHTING

KIMBO SLICE VERSUS AN OLD MAN

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Word has just gotten out that terrifying black man but incomplete mixed martial arts fighter Kimbo Slice will face 44-year-old MMA legend Ken Shamrock on October 4th for EliteXC on CBS.

ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE

SURE, BLAME THE RETARD

By | 15 Comments

On the eve of the 2005 Auburn-Alabama game, semipro cage fighter Joey Barrett Jr yelled "Roll Tide.

KUNG FU U

HULK HOGAN & KIMBO SLICE TEACH KUNG FU

By | 42 Comments

Hulk Hogan is taking a break from raising his horrible idiot children to star alongside Kimbo Slice in the 3-D action-adventure Kung Fu U.

GAMBLING

TIM DONAGHY IS HEADED TO THE BUTT FARM

By | 18 Comments

Disgraced former NBA referee Tim Donaghy was <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=3509440" target="_blank">sentenced to 15 months</a> in federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison today for his role in the gambling "scandal" that NBA fans can still watch every day during the regular season and playoffs.

FIGHTING

KIMBO SLICE HAS A LONG WAY TO GO

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No one I know disputes the argument that Kimbo Slice has lead fists and doesn't feel pain.

MMA

KIMBO SLICE ISN’T EXACTLY FRIENDLY

By | 26 Comments

Make no mistake: Kimbo Slice has a <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/extra/mma/news/story?id=3251020" target="_blank">long way to go</a> before he can even step in the ring with a bona fide UFC fighter, but that doesn't mean that a huge, ripped black man with an unkempt beard and devastating fists isn't terrifying.

AMERICAS WANG

FLORIDA PRISONS FEATURED ORGIES, SOFTBALL

By | 24 Comments

Badass commenter <a href="http://mrherculesrockefeller.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Hercules Rockerfeller</a> points us in the direction of James McDonough, Florida's former prison secretary who <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/02/11/prison.boss/index.html" target="_blank">described the prisons</a> in America's Wang as being rife with corruption, drunken orgies, and an obsession with softball leagues so severe that steroid use became problematic.

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HE'S OLD

MARION JONES IS GOING TO PRISON. RAWR!

By | 28 Comments

Former Olympic heroine Marion Jones was <a href="http://breakingnews.nypost.com/dynamic/stories/N/NY_MARION_JONES_DOPING_BAOL-?SITE=NYNYP&SECTION=HOME" target="_blank">sentenced today to six months in prison</a> for lying to federal investigators about her use of performance-enhancing drugs.

KIMBO SLICE

MICHAEL VICK GETS 23 MONTHS IN PRISON

By | 21 Comments

Michael Vick was finally sentenced today for the illegal dog fighting ring that he ran out of his carhole.

FIGHTING

KIMBO SLICE IS SCARY

By | 36 Comments

Some people think I'm not qualified to be an MMA fighter, but that's not true at all.

KIMBO SLICE

TANK JOHNSON IS HEADED TO THE SLAMMER

By | 8 Comments

This story's already been all over the blogosphere, but yesterday the Bears' Tank Johnson was <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/football/nfl/03/15/bc.fbn.bears.johnson.ap/index.html" target="_blank">sentenced to four months in jail</a>.

GREEN BAY PACKERS

KOREN ROBINSON IS GOIN TO THE HOOSEGOW

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Former Vikings wideout (and Seahawks bust) Koren Robinson was sentenced on Tuesday to <a href="http://www.startribune.com/510/story/1013842.html" target="_blank">ninety days in jail</a> for fleeing police last August.

ANDY RODDICK

DWIGHT GOODEN IS GETTING OUT OF JAIL

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For those of you not tracking former athletes currently serving prison sentences, Dwight Gooden is about to <a href="http://www.tbo.com/sports/rays/MGBP0U1U7UE.html" target="_blank">re-enter the world</a> as a free man after a seven-month stint in jail for cocaine use that violated his probation.

KIMBO SLICE

Lawrence Phillips Is Headed to the Clink

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Well, Lawrence Phillips is headed to prison.


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