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2013 KSK NFL Prekkake: Cincinnati Bengals

| 22 Comments

Last year: 10-6, second in AFC North, lost in Wild Card round Acquisitions: James Harrison, Tyler Eifert, Giovani Bernard, Margus Hunt, Mike Nugent, Josh Johnson Departures: Nate Clements, Manny Lawson, Bruce Gradkowski, Brian Leonard, Josh Brown Vegas win total over/under: 8 1/2 wins Verdict: OVER Five things James Harrison hates more than the "Hard Knocks" cameras: - Roger Goodell - Heads Up Football - Brains without concussions - Quarterbacks with breath - Anyplace that people are happy and not fleeing in terror Fan forecast by Who Dey Revolution: One more step.

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2013 KSK NFL Prekkake: Tennessee Titans

| 28 Comments

Last year: 6-10, third place in AFC South Acquisitions: Shonn Greene, Bernard Pollard, Chance Warmack, Ryan Fitzpatrick, George Wilson, Andy Levitre Departures: Jared Cook, Steve Hutchinson, Matt Hasselbeck, Will Witherspoon Vegas win total over/under: 6 1/2 wins Verdict: UNDER Five players Bernard Pollard can injure in lieu of another Patriot this season: - Ben Roethlisberger - Golden Tate - Philip Rivers - Wes Welker (again) - Colin Kaepernick Fan forecast by Classicalite’s Elle Kaye Jung: Here but a few scant days before they travel up to Pittsburgh to down a Primanti’s sammy, ride up the Monongahela Duquesne incline, feign appreciation for Warhol’s later “films” and, oh yeah, to officially kick-off the true NFL season proper, as far as this fan oscillates, I count not greater than 1-II-c (3) variables concerning the regards to this year’s Tennessee Titans.

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2013 KSK NFL Prekkake: New England Patriots

| 63 Comments

Last year: 12-4, AFC East champs, lost in AFC Championship Acquisitions: Danny Amendola, Aaron Dobson, Tommy Kelly, LeGarrette Blount Departures: Aaron Hernandez, Wes Welker, Brandon Lloyd, Danny Woodhead, Patrick Chung Dearly departed: Odin Lloyd Player brought on just to annoy us for the preseason: Tim Tebow Vegas win total over/under: 11 wins Verdict: PUSH Five previously unknown players who are popular fantasy sleepers just because they are now part of the Pats offense: - Kenbrell Thompkins - Zach Sudfeld - Aaron Dobson - Josh Boyce - Matthew Mulligan Fan forecast by Paul "Fitzy" Fitzgerald: SHIT PATS FANS SAY: 2013 Amendola's gonna be bettah.

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2013 KSK NFL Prekkake: Indianapolis Colts

| 88 Comments

Last year: 11-5, lost in Wild Card round Acquisitions: Ahmad Bradshaw, Gosder Cherilus, Matt Hasselbeck, LaRon Landry, Bjorn Werner, Greg Toler Departures: Dwight Freeney, Donnie Avery, Austin Collie, Jerraud Powers, A.

MIAMI DOLPHINS

2013 KSK NFL Prekkake: Miami Dolphins

| 21 Comments

Last Year: 7-9 Acquisitions: Mike Wallace, Brent Grimes, Will Davis, Brandon Gibson, Dustin Keller Departures: Jake Long, Reggie Bush, Richard Marshall, Anthony Fasano and, of course, Dustin Keller Vegas win total over/under: 7.

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2013 KSK NFL Prekkake: New Orleans Saints

| 53 Comments

Last year: 7-9, third place in NFC South Acquisitions: Keenan Lewis, Kenny Vaccaro, Kenny Stills, Chris Carr, Jim Leonard Departures: Sedrick Ellis, Chase Daniel, Devery Henderson, Chris Ivory, Will Smith (injury) Vegas win total over/under: 9 wins Verdict: OVER Five ingredients in Rob Ryan's Jammin' Jambalaya: - Spicy 12-piece mixed from Popeye's - Box of Bugles to use as noodles - Two ground up Baconators - Couple crawdads or whatever the f*ck - Zatarain's Jambalaya mix Fan forecast by Bunkie Perkins: Bienvenue Monsieur Payton.

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2013 KSK NFL Prekkake: Minnesota Vikings

| 42 Comments

Last year: 10-6, lost in Wild Card round Acquisitions: Greg Jennings, Desmond Bishop, Sharrif Floyd, Xavier Rhodes, Cordarrelle Patterson, Matt Cassel Departures: Percy Harvin, Antoine Winfield, Geoff Schwartz, Chris Kluwe Vegas win total over/under: 7 1/2 wins Verdict: UNDER Five benefits of "juicing on the blood of Jesus": - Current NFL testing only detects doping on the blood of Yahweh or Allah.

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2013 KSK NFL Prekkake: San Francisco 49ers

| 94 Comments

Last year: 11-4-1, NFC West champs, lost in Super Bowl Acquisitions: Anquan Boldin, Nnamdi Asomugha, Jonathan Baldwin, Adam Snyder, Craig Dahl, Eric Reid, Phil Dawson Departures: Alex Smith, Dashon Goldson, Randy Moss, A.

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2013 KSK NFL Prekkake: Detroit Lions

| 19 Comments

Last year: 4-12, last place in NFC North Acquisitions: Reggie Bush, Ezekiel Ansah, Glover Quin, Darius Slay, Israel Idonije, David Akers Departures: Cliff Avril, Kyle Vanden Bosch, Jason Hanson, Titus Young, Gosder Cherilus Vegas win total over/under: 8 wins Verdict: PUSH Five bonding activities for Lions players and racial slur buddies, Louis Delmas and Tony Scheffler: - Each telling members of their race that the other is "one of the good ones".

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2013 KSK NFL Prekkake: New York Jets

| 56 Comments

Last year: 6-10, third place in AFC East Acquisitions: Geno Smith, Dee Milliner, Kellen Winslow, Dawan Landry, Sheldon Richardson Departures: Darrelle Revis, LaRon Landry, Shonn Greene, Joe McKnight, Yeremiah Bell, Tim Tebow Vegas win total over/under: 6 1/2 wins Verdict: UNDER Five ways this season might not be so horrible for Jets fans: - No Tebow.

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2013 KSK NFL Prekkake: St. Louis Rams

| 27 Comments

Last year: 7-8-1, third place in NFC West Acquisitions: Tavon Austin, Jared Cook, Jake Long, Alec Ogletree, Will Witherspoon Departures: Steven Jackson, Danny Amendola, Quintin Mikell, Rocky McIntosh, Craig Dahl Vegas win total over/under: 7 1/2 wins Verdict: OVER Five perks Peter King gets for a cozy relationship with the Rams front office: - Getting to watch old white guys high-five in the Rams war room in draft day.

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2013 KSK NFL Prekkake: Kansas City Chiefs

| 68 Comments

Last year: 2-14, last place in AFC West Acquisitions: Alex Smith, Eric Fisher, Donnie Avery, A.

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2013 KSK NFL Prekkake: Carolina Panthers

| 39 Comments

Last year: 7-9, second place in NFC South Acquisitions: Star Lotulelei, Chase Blackburn, Ted Ginn, Kawann Short, Drayton Florence Departures: Chris Gamble, James Anderson, Louis Murphy, Ron Edwards Vegas win total over/under: 7 wins.

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2013 KSK NFL Prekkake: Philadelphia Eagles

| 73 Comments

via Last year: 4-12, last place in NFC East Acquisitions: Connor Barwin, Cary Williams, Kenny Phillips, Lane Johnson, Matt Barkley Departures: Nnamdi Asomugha, Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, Darryl Tapp, Jeremy Maclin (injury), Arrelious Benn (injury) Vegas win total over/under: 7 1/2 wins Verdict: OVER Five lessons Riley Cooper got from sensitivity training: - It's not nice to falsely accuse black people of attending Kenny Chesney concerts.

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2013 KSK NFL Prekkake: Houston Texans

| 66 Comments

via Last year: 12-4, AFC South champs, lost in divisional round Acquisitions: Ed Reed, DeAndre Hopkins, D.

Washington Redskins

KSK 2013 NFL Prekkake: Washington Redskins

| 55 Comments

Last year: 10-6, NFC East champs, lost in Wild Card round Acquisitions: Nick Barnett, Donte Stallworth, David Amerson, Darryl Tapp, Jeremy Trueblood Departures: Cedric Griffin, Madieu Williams, Chris Cooley, Lorenzo Alexander, Brandon Banks Vegas win total over/under: 8 1/2 wins Verdict: UNDER Five proposed new names for the Redskins: - Redtails - Pigskins - Red Pandas - Transplants - D.

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KSK 2013 NFL Prekkake: Cleveland Browns

| 26 Comments

Last year: 5-11, last place in AFC North Acquisitions: Paul Kruger, Davone Bess, Barkevious Mingo, Desmond Bryant, Jason Campbell, Shayne Graham Departures: Josh Cribbs, Phil Dawson, Seneca Wallace, Benjamin Watson, Mohamed Massaquoi, Usama Young Vegas win total over/under: 6 wins Verdict: PUSH.

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KSK 2013 NFL Prekkake: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

| 28 Comments

Last year: 7-9, last place in NFC South Acquisitions: Darrelle Revis, Dashon Goldson, Peyton Hillis, Johnthan Banks, Tom Crabtree, Lawrence Tynes Departures: Michael Bennett, LeGarrette Blount, Dallas Clark, Eric Wright, Jeremy Trueblood Vegas win total over/under: 7 1/2 wins Verdict: OVER Five other hamsters that are tough: - The crazy one in the bubble from Bolt.

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KSK 2013 NFL Prekkake: San Diego Chargers

| 41 Comments

Last year: 7-9, second place in AFC West Acquisitions: Dwight Freeney, D.


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