CHELSEA BLUES

Watch Some Chelsea Fans Pretend To Know About Players Who Don’t Exist

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A Manchester United fan hit the street to ask Chelsea fans about new players that don't exist and of course they pretended to know about them.

REASONS TO HATE SOCCER

Manchester United’s Patrice Evra Fell Into The Stands And Got His Butthole Groped

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Soccer player Patrice Evra got his butt pinched (scooped? Something.) by a female Tottenham supporter.

Africa

Here’s Why You Should Never Bet Your House On A Soccer Game, Stupid

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A Ugandan soccer fan is now homeless following a bet on an Arsenal vs. Manchester United game. Also, he's got multiple wives. This is pretty weird, guys.

DANIEL STERN

Manchester United, Now Featuring The Bad Guys From ‘Home Alone’

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Wayne Rooney and Marouane Fellaini of Manchester United look exactly like the bad guys from 'Home Alone,' says an astute Imgurer.

ANDREW COLE

Blindfold Soccer Is The Best Soccer

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<a href="http://withleather.uproxx.com/2013/03/blindfold-soccer-is-the-best-soccer/wayne-rooney-blindfolded" rel="attachment wp-att-108119"></a>I always appreciate when things get added to soccer to make it more difficult -- <a href="http://withleather.uproxx.com/2012/11/beercup-is-supposed-to-be-a-soccermma-hybrid-but-its-mostly-just-assholes-hurting-each-other" target="_blank">random MMA rules</a>, <a href="http://withleather.uproxx.com/2012/10/soccer-explosion-video-anorthosis-omonia-nicosia" target="_blank">firecrackers</a>, whatever -- but my new favorite unnecessary soccer accoutrement is BLINDFOLDS, because apparently telepathic soccer is a thing.

Andy Murray

You’re The Man Now, Dog!

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Imagine yourself winning your first grand slam victory.

KIDS THAT ARENT ANNOYING

Meme Watch: Excited Soccer Kid Is Excited

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Yesterday while going through some old images in my "SFW" folders, I came across this photo from a recent "friendly" match between the New England Revolution and Manchester United.

GREAT GOALS

He Should’ve Called Motion

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This is the closest I've seen soccer get to pick-up basketball, and from the look of things it was almost as competitive.

ATHLETES SHOULD NOT HAVE TWITTER

British Tabloids Googling for Arrested Development Screencaps

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British tabloids are "blazing hot" this morning after Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney tweeted the first photo of his hair transplant, because British tabloids spent a month talking about that one lady's wedding hat and get bent out of shape over everything.

#Facebook

Manchester U. Fans Win This Round

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A new study by the social media service FanGager has determined that the “fans” on Manchester United’s Facebook page are the most active of any fan page on Mark Zuckerberg’s cash cow.

EPL

Wayne Rooney Is Good At Soccer

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We finally tracked down some video of Wayne Rooney's bicycle kick goal against Man City over the weekend.

ATHLETES SHOULD NOT HAVE TWITTER

Ryan Babel Is Going To Twitter Jail

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On Sunday, Manchester United defeated Liverpool 1-0 in the third round of the FA Cup, and I assume that may have meant something to people who follow soccer.

MANCHESTER UNITED

MLS All-Stars Get *Man*-Handled…Zing?

By | 6 Comments

Those of you discouraged about the possibility of soccer climbing out of "dork fetish" status here in the states can breathe a little easier today: The MLS All-Star Game happened last night, but instead of the league's best players playing each other, they formed a single team and took on Manchester United, the perennial Champions League power who happen to be stateside for a preseason tour.

MANCHESTER UNITED

Bayern-Man U, As Re-Enacted By Legos

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We could have made a bigger deal about this Bayern-Manchester United match from last week, where Bayern essentially knocked the prominent English club out of Champions League title contention.

CRAZY FANS

CHUNKY BRITS GET EXCITED OVER FOOTBALL

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When Manchester City and Manchester United squared off on the pitch last weekend, not only were the teams going at it, but so were the fans.

EPL

CRAIG BELLAMY HATES YOUR FACE

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Seriously, I love British people.

MANCHESTER UNITED

RONALDO TO REAL MADRID IN $131M TRANSFER

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Don't think of this a soccer story so much as it's a triumph of capitalism in the most pinko sport in the world.

FC BARCA

NIGERIAN BUS DRIVER RUNS OVER SOCCER FANS

By | 10 Comments

In the wake of the UEFA Champions League final and crazy-assed soccer fandom worldwide, a bus driver in Nigeria who also happened to be a Manchester United fan ran over four celebrating FC Barcelona fans after Barca defeated Man U 2-0.

BARCELONA FC

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE FINAL STARTS…RIGHT NOW

By | 27 Comments

I have no idea how this soccer business works over in Europe.


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