South Dakota Highway Safety Is Pulling This Misguided ‘Don’t Jerk And Drive’ Campaign

By | 7 Comments

What does this ad make you think about? Probably not driving on icy roads like it's supposed to.


A Florida Man Was Caught Masturbating Outside Because His Mom Wouldn’t Let Him Have Porn In The House

By | 5 Comments

A Florida man living with his mother wasn't allowed to have porn in the house, so he did the next best thing.


A College Student Reportedly Stole An Ambulance Then Masturbated In A Police Station While On Molly

By | 16 Comments

One 18-year-old college student accomplished more in one night than most people do in their entire lifetime.


Here’s How One Enterprising Woman Tricked Reddit Users Into Masturbating To Her Husband’s Butt

By | 17 Comments

A woman on Reddit noticed that a picture she took of her husband's ass looked like ... something else, so she decided to have some fun.


A High School Soccer Coach Accidentally Sent A Raunchy Snapchat Video To His Players

By | 18 Comments

PRO TIP: If you're going to send a masturbation video out, make sure it's not to underage girls on the soccer team you coach.


A Chinese Med Student Died From Masturbating At A Sperm Bank

By | 29 Comments

Apparently chronic masturbators have more to worry about than just growing hair on their palms or going blind.


Here’s How One Man Masturbated So Much That He Accidentally Killed His Family’s Cat

By | 25 Comments

A man recently confessed on Reddit that his unsanitary masturbation habits killed his family cat. Here's the story.


This ‘How Often Do You Masturbate?’ Chart Only Proves Everyone’s A Liar

By | 22 Comments

I imagine that at least four times a week, someone asks the chart monkeys over at Nate Silver's FiveThirtyEight how many times the average person masturbates.


America Loves ScarJo: 8 Things We Learned About Who The World Is Masturbating To

By | 6 Comments revealed the most searched-for women in every country in the world. Unsurprisingly, Scarlett Johansson is in America's top-three.


Watch A Mormon PSA That Compares Masturbators To Wounded Soldiers

By | 37 Comments

The fight against masturbation is greater than any World War.

#Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus’s ‘Adore You’ Is A Sex Tape Disguised As A Masturbatory Music Video

By | 38 Comments

So it's comes to this: Miley's sort-of sex tape. HAPPY 2013 EVERYONE.


A Woman Caught A Man Masturbating In Walmart And Shamed Him On Video

By | 34 Comments

When nobody would help Beth Davis apprehend a man she caught masturbating in a Tulsa Walmart, she pointed her camera at him and made sure he was busted.

#Viral Videos

Watch The Banned Protein Shake Ad That Has Too Much Masturbation Innuendo For Television

By | 7 Comments

You'll be shocked to discover banning a commercial with lots of masturbation innuendo is the best advertising.


Public Masturbation Is Now Legally ‘Okay’ In Sweden

By | 8 Comments

A 65-year old man in Sweden was acquitted of sexual assault charges because even though he masturbated at a public beach, he didn't look at anyone.


Yelpers Go To Town On Pizzeria After 4Chan Posts Photo Of Someone Allegedly Masturbating In The Kitchen

By | 8 Comments

The owner of Jersey Joe's Pizzeria in San Diego claims an ex-employee is behind some images on 4Chan that show someone masturbating in his kitchen.


Let’s Finish Writing This 1970s Sex-Ed Film About A Kid Who’s Caught Masturbating By His Mom

By | 17 Comments

Poor Ricky, all he wanted to do was "pleasure himself," and then he got caught by his mother in this PSA.

south korea

Teacher Literally Gets Off On Hitting Students, Masturbates In Front Of Class

By | 6 Comments

Here's a depressing story involving a Korean teacher who hit his student, then masturbated in front of a class.


Anna Kendrick Tweets About Masturbating During A Gosling Movie, Is Still The Best At Social Media

By | 24 Comments

A month ago I urged everyone and their sister to develop a crush on my girl Anna Kendrick. Now I'm back with a reminder.

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