A Woman Was Arrested For Allegedly Masturbating While In Handcuffs During ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’

By | 25 Comments

After weeks of waiting, someone finally got arrested for allegedly masturbating while watching 'Fifty Shades Of Grey'.

#Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus Posts Photo Of Girl With Hand Down Her Pants, Stresses The Importance Of Masturbation

By | 27 Comments

Miley Cyrus is simply looking out for the emotional, mental, and sexual well being of America!

#Anna Kendrick

Anna Kendrick Isn’t Embarrassed About Her Desire To Masturbate To Ryan Gosling Movies

By | 10 Comments

Ryan Gosling movies do something to Anna Kendrick, and she's not ashamed to admit it.

#Dumb Criminals

Police Finally Thwart Bulletproof Burglar’s Masturbating, Dog-Stealing Reign Of Terror

By | 6 Comments

Police finally put an end to a bulletproof burglar who went on a dog-stealing, masturbating crime spree.

oculus rift

Here’s Why Masturbating In A Virtual Reality Headset While Your Girlfriend’s On Her Way Over Is A Bad Idea

By | 13 Comments

This Oculus Rift masturbation story is why the future and everything in it is terrible.


South Dakota Highway Safety Is Pulling This Misguided ‘Don’t Jerk And Drive’ Campaign

By | 7 Comments

What does this ad make you think about? Probably not driving on icy roads like it's supposed to.


A Florida Man Was Caught Masturbating Outside Because His Mom Wouldn’t Let Him Have Porn In The House

By | 4 Comments

A Florida man living with his mother wasn't allowed to have porn in the house, so he did the next best thing.


A College Student Reportedly Stole An Ambulance Then Masturbated In A Police Station While On Molly

By | 16 Comments

One 18-year-old college student accomplished more in one night than most people do in their entire lifetime.


Here’s How One Enterprising Woman Tricked Reddit Users Into Masturbating To Her Husband’s Butt

By | 17 Comments

A woman on Reddit noticed that a picture she took of her husband's ass looked like ... something else, so she decided to have some fun.


A High School Soccer Coach Accidentally Sent A Raunchy Snapchat Video To His Players

By | 18 Comments

PRO TIP: If you're going to send a masturbation video out, make sure it's not to underage girls on the soccer team you coach.


A Chinese Med Student Died From Masturbating At A Sperm Bank

By | 29 Comments

Apparently chronic masturbators have more to worry about than just growing hair on their palms or going blind.


Here’s How One Man Masturbated So Much That He Accidentally Killed His Family’s Cat

By | 25 Comments

A man recently confessed on Reddit that his unsanitary masturbation habits killed his family cat. Here's the story.


This ‘How Often Do You Masturbate?’ Chart Only Proves Everyone’s A Liar

By | 22 Comments

I imagine that at least four times a week, someone asks the chart monkeys over at Nate Silver's FiveThirtyEight how many times the average person masturbates.


America Loves ScarJo: 8 Things We Learned About Who The World Is Masturbating To

By | 6 Comments revealed the most searched-for women in every country in the world. Unsurprisingly, Scarlett Johansson is in America's top-three.


Watch A Mormon PSA That Compares Masturbators To Wounded Soldiers

By | 37 Comments

The fight against masturbation is greater than any World War.

#Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus’s ‘Adore You’ Is A Sex Tape Disguised As A Masturbatory Music Video

By | 36 Comments

So it's comes to this: Miley's sort-of sex tape. HAPPY 2013 EVERYONE.


A Woman Caught A Man Masturbating In Walmart And Shamed Him On Video

By | 34 Comments

When nobody would help Beth Davis apprehend a man she caught masturbating in a Tulsa Walmart, she pointed her camera at him and made sure he was busted.

#Viral Videos

Watch The Banned Protein Shake Ad That Has Too Much Masturbation Innuendo For Television

By | 7 Comments

You'll be shocked to discover banning a commercial with lots of masturbation innuendo is the best advertising.

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