#DWIGHT HOWARD

The Knicks Find Another Phenom; Duke & Missouri KO’D In Huge March Madness Upsets

Between the time that we're writing this and the time you're going to read it, the domain name Woodsanity.

the homeless

One Year Later, ‘Golden-Voiced’ Homeless Man Ted Williams Is Doing Just Fine

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It's kind of hard to believe that it's been a year since the internet made a "golden-voiced" homeless man from Ohio named Ted Williams the first viral sensation of 2011, but it has.

#FLORIDA

Is This Powder-Faced Mugshot Man A Mystery Wrapped Within An Enigma Wrapped Within An 8-Ball?

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You know that scene in True Romance where Eliot is getting blown by a whore while speeding through the hills of Hollywood only to wind up with cocaine all over his face after getting pulled over by a cop.

WORLD RECORDS

3:33:01.40 The New World Record Pac-Man Prophecy Has Been Fulfilled

Yes, that is actually how effed up Pac-Man's 256th level looks.

#craigslist

Killing Duo Used Craigslist Job Listings To Lure Unemployed Prey In Ohio

This is just heartbreaking and a sad insight into how messed up things are out there for some people, in this case Ohio, a state with an economy that's almost completely f*cked: two murderous dudes posted an ad on Craigslist offering a job -- $300 per week to basically oversee a piece of land.

#Star Wars

One In The Ink, Two In The Stink: The Most Regrettable Tattoos You’ll See This Week

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The other day, the Interwebs went absolutely crazy over the story of an Ohio man, Ryan Fitzjerald, who inked his girlfriend, Rossie Brovent, with the above poop tattoo after she had asked for a Narnia landscape.

#PRO WRESTLING

History’s Most Depressing Video Of Two Fat Guys Fighting To The Death

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Imagine, if only for a moment, a fantasy situation wherein an evil witch or wicked stepmother casts a spell on two gluttonous, hyper-masculine men and turns them into pigs.

Ohio

Your Move, Florida

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It's a pretty slow day in TV news, so I'd like to turn your attention to the story that's all over the Internet today: the Zanesville, Ohio residence of Terry Thompson, who last night released dozens of exotic wild animals from the cages on his property and then shot himself.

#NFL

Ohio’s Children Are In Good Hands

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Have you seen the episode of "Modern Family" where Luke gets taken to a psychologist and left in a parking lot, and when his parents realize what they've done they start freaking out, but he rolls up in a limo and it turns out he's smart and can find his way home.

STOMPER

Crushers Rep: ‘You Won’t Be Punished For Stealing Our Bear’s Head’

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The best part of any sports mascot making national news is that I've probably got a picture with him.

#MEMES

Memes Have No Place In Sports, Bro

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One of the things we love most here at the Uproxx Fortress of Porn Solitude is free porn a good meme.

TRACY MCCOOL

Ha Ha, It’s Funny Because of Farts

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Here's a local news blooper from Cleveland's Fox 8 in which anchorwoman Tracy McCool of the "News in the Morning" program loses her composure while reporting the story of a West Virginia man who was arrested for DUI and then got an additional charge for stinky farts.

#LeBron James

Dennis Rodman Will Fight You For Mentioning LeBron James

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It's been almost thirty years, but we have our first indication that Dennis Rodman is a normal human being: he hates LeBron James.

#LeBron James

Dirk Nowitzki Now From Bedford, OH

Dear Cleveland, all of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers supporters wherever you may be tonight; As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted last year, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier.

SPIDER MAN

Man Shot While Filming Spider-Man Fan Film

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The awesome Bren tipped us off to this story about an accidental shooting on the set of a Spider-Man fan film in the Clintonville neighborhood of Columbus, Ohio.

TAXES

Want More Bad News, Rich People?

Yesterday, my Uproxxian cohort Dan Seitz brought you the news that millionaires don’t consider themselves rich unless they have at least $7.

#FLORIDA

How Are Your Strippers Holding Up?

As the economy does whatever it does to get better, our nation’s hardest workers are doing whatever they need to do to get by.


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