History’s Most Depressing Video Of Two Fat Guys Fighting To The Death

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Imagine, if only for a moment, a fantasy situation wherein an evil witch or wicked stepmother casts a spell on two gluttonous, hyper-masculine men and turns them into pigs.

wild animals on the loose in ohio

The Heartbreaking End To The Wild Animal Escape In Ohio

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As <a href="http://www.uproxx.com/tv/2011/10/your-move-florida">you may have heard</a>, the owner of an "exotic animal" farm in Ohio set free <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2011/10/19/bloomberg_articlesLTC0OT6K50Y2.DTL">his entire cast of animals last night just prior to killing himself</a>.


Your Move, Florida

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It's a pretty slow day in TV news, so I'd like to turn your attention to the story that's all over the Internet today: the Zanesville, Ohio residence of Terry Thompson, who last night released dozens of exotic wild animals from the cages on his property and then shot himself.


Ohio’s Children Are In Good Hands

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Have you seen the episode of "Modern Family" where Luke gets taken to a psychologist and left in a parking lot, and when his parents realize what they've done they start freaking out, but he rolls up in a limo and it turns out he's smart and can find his way home.


Crushers Rep: ‘You Won’t Be Punished For Stealing Our Bear’s Head’

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The best part of any sports mascot making national news is that I've probably got a picture with him.


Memes Have No Place In Sports, Bro

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One of the things we love most here at the Uproxx Fortress of Porn Solitude is free porn a good meme.


Ha Ha, It’s Funny Because of Farts

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Here's a local news blooper from Cleveland's Fox 8 in which anchorwoman Tracy McCool of the "News in the Morning" program loses her composure while reporting the story of a West Virginia man who was arrested for DUI and then got an additional charge for stinky farts.


Dennis Rodman Will Fight You For Mentioning LeBron James

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It's been almost thirty years, but we have our first indication that Dennis Rodman is a normal human being: he hates LeBron James.


Dirk Nowitzki Now From Bedford, OH


Dear Cleveland, all of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers supporters wherever you may be tonight; As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted last year, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier.


Man Shot While Filming Spider-Man Fan Film

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The awesome <a href="http://www.geektress.com/2011/03/race_shirts.php">Bren</a> tipped us off to this story about an accidental shooting on the set of a Spider-Man fan film in the Clintonville neighborhood of Columbus, Ohio.


R.I.P. Guy Fused to Chair

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Sad news, everybody: the <a href="http://www.uproxx.com/tv/2011/03/oh-my-god-3" target="_self">Ohio man who didn't laeve his chair for two years</a> has passed away.


Want More Bad News, Rich People?


Yesterday, my Uproxxian cohort Dan Seitz brought you the news that millionaires don’t consider themselves rich unless they have at least $7.


How Are Your Strippers Holding Up?


As the economy does whatever it does to get better, our nation’s hardest workers are doing whatever they need to do to get by.


And You Thought Four Loko Was Bad?

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BrewDog’s Sink the Bismarck is an India Pale Ale that just went on sale in England, and before you go big whooping me, it is the strongest beer on the face of this planet.

ted williams

Famous Panhandler To Sell Famous Panhandling Accoutrements

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Golden-voiced panhandler Ted Williams is having a fire.


A Weekend Chock-Full Of Fail


Of Course We're Starting With Florida A woman in Florida crashed her SAAB into the Adrian Fernandez Insurance office in Tampa.


Homeless Guy Gets Job Offer From The Cavs

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In a video that was pretty much everywhere yesterday, Ted Williams, a homeless man living in central Ohio, shared what he called his God-given gift of a great voice.


Breaking News: Look At This Dog

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This is Doug (formerly "Ug"), the abandoned, two-year-old, half-blind Pointer cross dog who sat in a British animal shelter for months awaiting adoption before a cafe worker in South Yorkshire saw him on the shelter's website and fell in love.


All The Bikini News That’s Fit To Print


The girls above are three of the many beach volleyball cheerleaders China hired for the 16th Asian Games in Guangzhou this week.

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