At least he's not doing Fudgie the Whale.
- Geek & Sci-Fi
With All-Star Weekend’s magnificent machete fights behind us, NBA fans can go back to focusing on the only thing that matters: Jeremy Lin.
Seems a bit early for half the season to be through, but hey, that's what happens when you start work two months late.
I hoped to have a wildly hilarious recap of the NBA’s All-Star Weekend here in Orlando, and between the celebrities, players, posses, groupies and terrified townies, I figured we were in for something spectacular.
The best part is that a guy who can create exploding chemistry bombs is getting bossed around by his wife.
Maybe it's the fact <a href="http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/tag/dwight-howard" target="_blank">Dwight Howard</a> is the star player at center for the Orlando Magic.
Orlando Magic center and free-agent-to-be Dwight Howard has been putting together yet another great season as the NBA’s best big man.
Much to no one’s surprise, the Oklahoma City Thunder are currently the best team in the NBA, as Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook continue their strange “I’m not better than him but I’m secretly better than him” routine, and the Chicago Bulls and Miami Heat have all but locked up their eventual meeting in the Eastern Conference Finals.
To say that things aren’t going well for the Orlando Magic would be an incredible understatement.
Last night, the Orlando Magic advanced to 10-3 on the season, good enough for first place in the Eastern Conference Southeast Division, and you think people would be talking more about it but two things are stopping them: 1) Only one of their wins has come against a team with a record above.
Since we last checked in on the big picture of the NBA, the Oklahoma City Thunder (12-2) and Chicago Bulls (12-3) have made it clear that they’re the early favorites and the teams to beat, despite Chris Bosh’s assurance that his Miami Heat (8-4) are still the best team in the NBA.
There have been very few surprises in the NBA through the first 7 games of the season.
With Chris Paul now semi-happily shipped out to Los Angeles, the pressure is on for the Lakers to make a big splash and keep up with their fundamentally disabled little brother, the Clippers, who just received the equivalent of a miraculous stem cell therapy.
Don't let what happened last summer in South Beach or what could <a href="http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/2011/12/lakers-supposedly-interested-in-acquiring-both-chris-paul-and-dwight-howar">potentially occur</a> in Los Angeles or New York fool you.
The absolute joy of the NBA lockout coming to a close is that we’re back to a non-stop fury of trade and free agent rumors that make absolutely no sense and are almost entirely unsubstantiated.
So it looks like I jumped the gun with the whole <a href="http://withleather.uproxx.com/2011/12/where-chaos-happens-5-important-plot-lines-of-the-shortened-nba-season#page/1">"this Chris Paul thing will be fascinating"</a> because it's about as plain and simple as your mom's underwear.
Last month, when the city of Memphis was rumored to be <a href="http://www.bizjournals.com/nashville/morning_call/2011/10/memphis-to-consider-lawsuit-against-nba.html">considering a lawsuit against the NBA</a> for lost revenue from the lockout, I took a drag from my ivory tobacco pipe, lowered my bifocals and asked my butler, “Shouldn’t Orlando be the first city to go after the NBA because of that whole All-Star Game thing.
In lieu of my standard quasi-daily NBA labor update, I’ll just say that this season is still screwed.
It's not every day when two giraffe-centric sports stories emerge simultaneously.