Philadelphia Is Hosting A Masturbate-A-Thon For National Masturbation Month

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For those of you who don’t own the 2013 With Leather Calendar of Things You Probably Shouldn’t Know Exist*, May is National Masturbation Month, or as millions of men around the world call it – May.


All Hail Cat Bike Guy, King Of The Hipsters

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As a resident of Austin, TX, I don't like to throw shade at hipsters.


Sports Has A New Power Couple: The Phillie Phanatic And Kacie The Traffic Lady

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<a href="" rel="attachment wp-att-108025"></a>Say what you will about the Phillie Phanatic, but he's got fantastic taste in women.


Sports On TV: It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia’s 15 Greatest Sports Moments

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After a few weeks of writing about shows me and three other people in the world like (<a href="" target="_blank">Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers</a>, <a href="" target="_blank">Boy Meets World</a>, et al.


Sports On TV: Boy Meets World's 20 Greatest Sports Moments

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This week's Sports On TV covers another show people have been requesting since the column's inception: 'Boy Meets World,' the long-running TGIF staple that asked, "if Fred Savage can have a successful television show, shouldn't his little brother have one as well.


Sports On TV: The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air's 20 Greatest Sports Moments

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On the last installment of Sports On TV, we tackled <a href="" target="_blank">'The Wire'</a>, a romanticized look at inner-city life and law in Baltimore, Maryland.


Neil Gaiman's Commencement Speech Is The Must-Watch Thing Of The Day

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<a href="">Neil Gaiman</a> addressed the graduating class of 2012 at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia last Thursday, and the video is now online so we can glean the wisdom all those other suckers had to pay $34,840 per year to hear.


Habitat For … What Is That, A Bird?

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"Sorry, homeless people, your house isn't gonna be ready on time.


Bad Hip-Hop Fan Anthems Are Knocking At Your Door, NHL, Let ‘Em In

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I have a few friends in Philadelphia, and after the Philadelphia Flyers eliminated the Model Franchise Pittsburgh Penguins with a 5-1 victory in Game 6 of their first-round playoff series on Sunday there was (Facebook) talk of a "dynasty".


UPROXX @ SXSW: Bleeding Rainbow At The Iron Bear


The best part isn't that the band's name is "Bleeding Rainbow" -- it's that they were originally Reading Rainbow and had to change it.


Philly Sports Logos Get Sunnified. Finally.

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You could Sunnify just about anything and I'd be all for it, but <a href="" target="_blank">giving Philly pro sports logos the Always Sunny treatment</a> is especially apropos.


Watch World War Z shooting live in real-time

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I don't know why you'd want to do this, but I've seen enough Brazilian fart fetish porno to know that there's no accounting for taste, so I'm here to report, for any interested parties, that you can watch the shooting of Brad Pitt's World War Z movie (which is kind of based on the book <a href="" target="_blank">but not really)</a> today via the <a href="" target="_blank">Glasgow City Council's helpful webcams</a>.


Video: Rick Ross Splurges On Mitchell & Ness, Tours Philadelphia With Meek Mill

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Normally, you can miss me with these rapper vlogs because most artists need to get off their asses and make some music with impact, real talk.


Links: Happy Post-Trade Deadline Monday

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Why I'm Happy: The Cleveland Indians are going to compete.


Shut Up, Glass Face

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There are a few types of stories I try not to miss -- baseball players in drag, pets who have miraculously found their way home after natural disasters -- but the best story of all is the one where a Philadelphia sports fan is acting like a butthole and gets hit or shocked or shot with something.


Galapagos Birds Nearing Extinction


The mistreatment of the planet by human beings is going to cause a mass extinction like the one that killed the dinosaurs, and it all starts with this Lehigh Valley IronPigs player hitting a foul ball into the neck of the Phillie Phanatic and sending him to the hospital.


Philly Dot Com Sports Has Balls

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lol That's the real, actual headline from <a href="">today's Paul Hagen piece on</a> about what a fun and affable guy John Kruk was during his days in Philadelphia.


Video supercut: The Greatest Movie Sandwiches

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Some wise <a href="">YouTube user</a> recently put together this mash-up of The Greatest Movie Sandwiches, and I don't mind telling you that the execution is as spot-on as the premise.


Detroit Will Pay You To Take A House. The Catch? The House Is In Detroit.


News in the house Detroit Mayor Dave Bing -- who recently <a href="">tweeted</a> that there won't be a RoboCop statue in Detroit, only to see people <a href="">raise the funds</a> for it anyway -- has come up with a better tactic to lure people back to the city.

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