POLICE BLOTTER

A 7’2″ ‘Masterchef’ Contestant Punched A Cop And Claimed He Was Possessed By Gordon Ramsay

| 6 Comments

Josh Marks, a 7'2" Season 3 contestant on Fox's "MasterChef," was arrested after he punched a police officer and claimed Gordon Ramsay possessed his body.

WEEDS

Real Life ‘Weeds': A Suburban Mom Allegedly Ran A Multi-Million Dollar Pot Operation

| 3 Comments

In what appears to be an East coast version of Showtime's "Weeds," a suburban mom has been charged with running a multi-million dollar marijuana operation.

Teenagers

40-Girl Softball Brawl Highlights Include A Bit Stomach

| 9 Comments

This is supposed to be a picture of a 40-person girls softball brawl.

#BREAKING BAD

Real Life ‘Breaking Bad': Middle School Tutor With Stage III Cancer Arrested In Meth Bust

| 14 Comments

In a case of real life mimicking "Breaking Bad," a Massachusetts tutor suffering from stage III cancer was arrested in a meth bust.

POLICE BLOTTER

A Kentucky Man Broke Into A Supermarket, Cooked 6 Steaks And Went Through 57 Cans Of Whipped Cream

| 15 Comments

A Kentucky man broke into a supermarket, went through 57 cans of whipped cream, ate six steaks, and soiled himself before police found him in the morning. USA! USA! USA!

#Dexter

Canadian ‘Dexter’ Copycat Killer Still Watching ‘Dexter’ In Maximum Security Prison, Obvs

| 14 Comments

A Canadian murderer who based his crimes on "Dexter" has been spending his sentence watching "Dexter" reruns in maximum security prison. Oh. Okay.

POLICE BLOTTER

Here's One Of The Best Stories About Feuding Ice Cream Truck Drivers You Will Ever Read

| 13 Comments

If you are looking for a story featuring an ice cream truck driver calling his competitor and shouting "I own this town," I have good news for you.

X FACTOR

‘X Factor’ Contestant Steals Car After Audition, Leads Police On High-Speed Chase

| 2 Comments

An "X Factor" contestant has been arrested after stealing a car after his audition and leading police on a high speed chase. "Fast 6" opens May 24.

POLICE BLOTTER

Voice Of Charlie Brown Pleads Guilty To Stalking His Ex And The Doctor Who Gave Her Breast Implants

| 15 Comments

Put another hole in your childhood. The voice of Charlie Brown faces up to three years in jail for stalking and threatening his ex and her plastic surgeon.

#BREAKING BAD

Someone Stole One Of Bryan Cranston’s Final Eight ‘Breaking Bad’ Scripts

| 5 Comments

A New Mexico man was arrested for allegedly stealing an iPad and "Breaking Bad" script from Bryan Cranston. The script has not been recovered.

#NFL

Former NFL Cheerleader, Star Molest Children In Very Different Ways

| 11 Comments

Don't like reading horrible stories about former sports celebrities molesting children.

#JUSTIFIED

Life Imitates Art, ‘Justified’ Edition: U.S. Marshals Hunt Down Fugitive In Harlan County

| 9 Comments

In a very odd case of life imitating "Justified," a fugitive from up north was recently apprehended in Harlan County after over a decade on the run.

#THE SIMPSONS

A Man Named Bart Simpson Appeared In Front Of A Judge Named Mr. Burns

| 13 Comments

Thing that actually happened: A British man named Barton Simpson appeared in front of a judge named Recorder Burns. Bart Simpson. Mr. Burns.

VANS

Naked Man Drives Van Into River After A High-Speed Chase, Waves Underwear Over Head

| 5 Comments

A man wanted for a Maryland carjacking led police on a high-speed chase and crashed his van into a river. Also, he was naked.

SARAH JONES

The Bengals Cheerleader Who Admitted To Sleeping With A High School Student Might Be Getting A Reality Show

| 24 Comments

Sarah Jones is a 27-year-old former Bengals cheerleader and teacher who admitted to sleeping with a 17-year-old student in exchange for a sentence that included no jail time and would not require her to register as a sex offender, and then walked hand-in-hand out of the courthouse with the now 18-year-old young man who has since become her boyfriend, which is all another way of saying GUESS WHO'S GETTING A REALITY SHOW?

POLICE BLOTTER

The Greatest Police Blotter Report Ever

Read about 106-year-old Old Man McGumbus, who took down a Bengal tiger with his belt, in the police blotter section of "Dan's Hamptons."

#NFL

The Dolphins Don't Think Ochocinco Should've Gotten Fired For Bloodying His Wife In A Condoms Fight

| 7 Comments

Ochocinco and Terrell Owens got together at some point during the winter, shotgunned a marathon of 'Necessary Roughness' and decided they could get their shit together and have a Diva Wide Receiver Renaissance.

#JON HAMM

Alert Scotland Yard! Jon Hamm Was Robbed in London

| 4 Comments

[stops sweeping chimney] 'Allo dere, guvnah.


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