Real Life ‘Breaking Bad': Middle School Tutor With Stage III Cancer Arrested In Meth Bust

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In a case of real life mimicking "Breaking Bad," a Massachusetts tutor suffering from stage III cancer was arrested in a meth bust.


A Kentucky Man Broke Into A Supermarket, Cooked 6 Steaks And Went Through 57 Cans Of Whipped Cream

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A Kentucky man broke into a supermarket, went through 57 cans of whipped cream, ate six steaks, and soiled himself before police found him in the morning. USA! USA! USA!


Canadian ‘Dexter’ Copycat Killer Still Watching ‘Dexter’ In Maximum Security Prison, Obvs

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A Canadian murderer who based his crimes on "Dexter" has been spending his sentence watching "Dexter" reruns in maximum security prison. Oh. Okay.


Here's One Of The Best Stories About Feuding Ice Cream Truck Drivers You Will Ever Read

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If you are looking for a story featuring an ice cream truck driver calling his competitor and shouting "I own this town," I have good news for you.


‘X Factor’ Contestant Steals Car After Audition, Leads Police On High-Speed Chase

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An "X Factor" contestant has been arrested after stealing a car after his audition and leading police on a high speed chase. "Fast 6" opens May 24.


Voice Of Charlie Brown Pleads Guilty To Stalking His Ex And The Doctor Who Gave Her Breast Implants

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Put another hole in your childhood. The voice of Charlie Brown faces up to three years in jail for stalking and threatening his ex and her plastic surgeon.


Someone Stole One Of Bryan Cranston’s Final Eight ‘Breaking Bad’ Scripts

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A New Mexico man was arrested for allegedly stealing an iPad and "Breaking Bad" script from Bryan Cranston. The script has not been recovered.


Former NFL Cheerleader, Star Molest Children In Very Different Ways

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Don't like reading horrible stories about former sports celebrities molesting children.


Life Imitates Art, ‘Justified’ Edition: U.S. Marshals Hunt Down Fugitive In Harlan County

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In a very odd case of life imitating "Justified," a fugitive from up north was recently apprehended in Harlan County after over a decade on the run.


A Man Named Bart Simpson Appeared In Front Of A Judge Named Mr. Burns

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Thing that actually happened: A British man named Barton Simpson appeared in front of a judge named Recorder Burns. Bart Simpson. Mr. Burns.


Naked Man Drives Van Into River After A High-Speed Chase, Waves Underwear Over Head

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A man wanted for a Maryland carjacking led police on a high-speed chase and crashed his van into a river. Also, he was naked.


The Bengals Cheerleader Who Admitted To Sleeping With A High School Student Might Be Getting A Reality Show

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Sarah Jones is a 27-year-old former Bengals cheerleader and teacher who admitted to sleeping with a 17-year-old student in exchange for a sentence that included no jail time and would not require her to register as a sex offender, and then walked hand-in-hand out of the courthouse with the now 18-year-old young man who has since become her boyfriend, which is all another way of saying GUESS WHO'S GETTING A REALITY SHOW?


The Greatest Police Blotter Report Ever


Read about 106-year-old Old Man McGumbus, who took down a Bengal tiger with his belt, in the police blotter section of "Dan's Hamptons."


The Dolphins Don't Think Ochocinco Should've Gotten Fired For Bloodying His Wife In A Condoms Fight

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Ochocinco and Terrell Owens got together at some point during the winter, shotgunned a marathon of 'Necessary Roughness' and decided they could get their shit together and have a Diva Wide Receiver Renaissance.


The Guy Fieri Stolen Lamborghini Story Keeps Getting Better Somehow

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Two days ago, we brought you the news that Guy Fieri's stolen Lamborghini had been recovered in a storage locker belonging to a 17-year-old high school student who was also suspected of trying to kill two of his classmates by shooting at them from the back of a speeding motorcycle.


Update: Junior Seau Is Dead

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According to a continually updating report from TMZ.com, former San Diego Chargers linebacker and NFL 1990s All-Decade Team member Junior Seau has been involved in a possible shooting and may be dead.

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