SARAH JONES

The Bengals Cheerleader Who Admitted To Sleeping With A High School Student Might Be Getting A Reality Show

By | 24 Comments

Sarah Jones is a 27-year-old former Bengals cheerleader and teacher who admitted to sleeping with a 17-year-old student in exchange for a sentence that included no jail time and would not require her to register as a sex offender, and then walked hand-in-hand out of the courthouse with the now 18-year-old young man who has since become her boyfriend, which is all another way of saying GUESS WHO'S GETTING A REALITY SHOW?

POLICE BLOTTER

The Greatest Police Blotter Report Ever

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Read about 106-year-old Old Man McGumbus, who took down a Bengal tiger with his belt, in the police blotter section of "Dan's Hamptons."

THIS WEEK IN SPOUSAL ABUSE

The Dolphins Don't Think Ochocinco Should've Gotten Fired For Bloodying His Wife In A Condoms Fight

By | 7 Comments

Ochocinco and Terrell Owens got together at some point during the winter, shotgunned a marathon of 'Necessary Roughness' and decided they could get their shit together and have a Diva Wide Receiver Renaissance.

POTPOURRI OF GADGETS

The Guy Fieri Stolen Lamborghini Story Keeps Getting Better Somehow

By | 20 Comments

Two days ago, we brought you the news that Guy Fieri's stolen Lamborghini <a href="http://www.uproxx.com/tv/2012/05/the-ballad-of-guy-fieris-lamborghini">had been recovered</a> in a storage locker belonging to a 17-year-old high school student who was also suspected of trying to kill two of his classmates by shooting at them from the back of a speeding motorcycle.

TMZ

Update: Junior Seau Is Dead

By | 19 Comments

According to a continually updating report from <a href="http://www.tmz.com/2012/05/02/junior-seau-shooting-police/" target="_blank">TMZ.com</a>, former San Diego Chargers linebacker and NFL 1990s All-Decade Team member Junior Seau has been involved in a possible shooting and may be dead.

VLADIMIR GUERRERO

The Dugout Opening Days '12: Baltimore Orioles

By | 22 Comments

He's not technically a Baltimore Oriole anymore, but when the O's disassociate themselves from you you're an Oriole until proven otherwise.

The Masters

Police To Masters Thief: 'Sand And Deliver'

By | 3 Comments

This 40-year old guy was arrested at the Masters on Sunday.

#UFC

Alistair Overeem Charged With Beating Woman, Possibly Into Retirement

By | 13 Comments

Breaking news courtesy of <a href="http://www.tmz.com/2012/01/31/alistair-overeem-battery-charged/" target="_blank">TMZ</a>: UFC superstar Alistair Overeem -- the guy who beat Brock Lesnar into retirement -- has been charged with misdemeanor battery for allegedly attacking a woman in a Vegas hotel earlier this month.

san francisco 49ers

That Smith Cray

By | 4 Comments

Brace yourself for shocking news: a rich, popular 22-year old went out partying and made an irresponsible life decision.

#Christmas

Getting Recognized: The Best Way To Avoid Being Murdered On Christmas

By | 3 Comments

I'm not sure I could recognize Philadelphia 76ers guard Lou Williams if he passed me on the street, so it's good news that I wasn't the guy who tried to rob him on Christmas Eve.

THOUGH SERIOUSLY PEOPLE DYING ISN'T FUNNY

Rolando McClain’s Arrest Photo Is Epic, Awful

By | 9 Comments

This part is supposed to be <a href="http://blog.sfgate.com/raiders/2011/12/01/raiders-mcclain-arrested-in-shooting/?tsp=1">the story</a>: Raiders starting middle linebacker Rolando McClain has been arrested in his hometown of Decatur, Alabama, for allegedly assaulting an individual, holding a gun to his head and firing a shot next to his ear.

UTAH JAZZ

Shawn Bradley Stolen From (Again)

By | 6 Comments

As Eric Freeman of the excellent <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ball_dont_lie">Ball Don't Lie</a> points out, there are positive and negative aspects to being 7-foot-6.

SASSY DUDES ARE THE BEST

This Guy Rules

By | 25 Comments

This video (NSFW audio) is from behind-the-scenes footage of some show called "People Behaving Badly" or something.

TOP CHEF: JUST DESSERTS

‘Top Chef’ Runner-Up Indicted for Kiddie Porn

By | 12 Comments

Morgan Wilson was the runner-up on Season 1 of Bravo's "Top Chef: Just Desserts.


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