FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

A Woman Was Arrested For Allegedly Masturbating While In Handcuffs During ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’

| 25 Comments

After weeks of waiting, someone finally got arrested for allegedly masturbating while watching 'Fifty Shades Of Grey'.

SOUTH DAKOTA

South Dakota Highway Safety Is Pulling This Misguided ‘Don’t Jerk And Drive’ Campaign

| 7 Comments

What does this ad make you think about? Probably not driving on icy roads like it's supposed to.

PUBLIC MASTURBATION

A Florida Man Was Caught Masturbating Outside Because His Mom Wouldn’t Let Him Have Porn In The House

| 4 Comments

A Florida man living with his mother wasn't allowed to have porn in the house, so he did the next best thing.

Masturbation

A High School Soccer Coach Accidentally Sent A Raunchy Snapchat Video To His Players

| 18 Comments

PRO TIP: If you're going to send a masturbation video out, make sure it's not to underage girls on the soccer team you coach.

PUBLIC MASTURBATION

A 14-Year-Old Hockey Player Purposely Gets Penalties So He Can Masturbate In The Penalty Box

| 24 Comments

As it turns out, you shouldn't masturbate in the penalty box at hockey games. Who knew.

WALMART

A Woman Caught A Man Masturbating In Walmart And Shamed Him On Video

| 34 Comments

When nobody would help Beth Davis apprehend a man she caught masturbating in a Tulsa Walmart, she pointed her camera at him and made sure he was busted.

WTF

Public Masturbation Is Now Legally ‘Okay’ In Sweden

| 8 Comments

A 65-year old man in Sweden was acquitted of sexual assault charges because even though he masturbated at a public beach, he didn't look at anyone.

TOTALLY NOT SPORTS RELATED

Philadelphia Is Hosting A Masturbate-A-Thon For National Masturbation Month

| 5 Comments

For those of you who don’t own the 2013 With Leather Calendar of Things You Probably Shouldn’t Know Exist*, May is National Masturbation Month, or as millions of men around the world call it – May.

SCOTT HARTNELL

Jaromir Jagr = The Masturbating Bear

This video, courtesy of The700Level by way of Sportress of Blogitude, features future NHL Hall of Famer Jaromir Jagr sitting on the Philadelphia bench, executing A Brother's Justice on his junk.

PUBLIC MASTURBATION

It’s Funny Because People Actually Do That

| 4 Comments

Onion SportsDome We haven't had much discussion about Onion's SportsDome show, partly because I don't really expect it to stay on the air for terribly long.

PUBLIC MASTURBATION

Florida Man Has An Itch Only A High School Cheerleader Can Scratch

| 7 Comments

That looker to the right is 50-year old Rafael Escamilla, a Florida resident who was recently on his way to Lewiston, Idaho to visit family, when he took a slight detour to jail.

TALES FROM WALMART

Florida Man Loves The Swimsuit Issue

| 11 Comments

A Florida man *long pause, sigh* was arrested this week after he went shopping at a local Walmart for a birthday present for his daughter.


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