Michael Gambon Ends His Five-Decade Theater Career Due To ‘Frightening’ Memory Loss

By | 2 Comments

Michael Gambon discusses the end of his theater acting career while sharing heartbreaking news about his health.


Leave The Snake Puppet Memories Alone: Santino Marella Has Announced His Retirement

By | 61 Comments

WWE Superstar Santino Marella has ended his in-ring career per an announcement made at a live event on Sunday. Son a ma gun.


Allow This Drunk Cubs Fan To Explain Why Derek Jeter’s Retirement Is So Special

By | 2 Comments

As the Cubs honored Derek Jeter during his retirement season tour, an especially moved fan put his career into perspective in one Vine.


Derek Jeter Announces (From Atop A Pile Of Money Surrounded By Many Beautiful Women) That The 2014 Season Will Be His Last

By | 11 Comments

New York Yankees captain Derek Jeter announced via Facebook that the 2014 MLB season would be his last, ending a 20-season career and an amazing tail trail.


Jon Bones Jones Announces His Retirement In The Hopes Of Never Becoming Tito Ortiz

By | 12 Comments

UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Jon Bones Jones announced that he'd be done and retired by age 30, citing a desire to never take fights past his prime.


Jack Nicholson Is Retiring, So Here Are 12 GIFs Of His That Belong In The Movie Hall Of Fame

By | 16 Comments

One of the greatest actors ever, Jack Nicholson, is retiring. Here are 12 of his most immortal GIFs.


David Beckham Is Doing Something, But I’m Not Sure What

By | 7 Comments

Get your "I thought he already announced his retirement, when he decided to play MLS" jokes ready.


RIP Andy Roddick, Heaven Needed Someone To Date Its Brooklyn Decker


This is Andy Roddick's on-court interview after his final career match, and it's moving, except for the part where he's sad about anything ever.


Roberto Carlos Retires From Soccer, Surprises World That He Was Still Playing

By | 9 Comments

Yesterday, 39-year-old Brazilian soccer legend Roberto Carlos announced his retirement, hanging up the boots on a career that stretched over three decades and three continents.


This Is, Literally, The Worst News In The History Of Professional Football

By | 16 Comments

Rob Lowe has broken the news that Peyton Manning will not return to the NFL.


Brett Favre To Retire. Again

By | 4 Comments

Minnesota Vikings quarterback (and noted old guy that knows how to use a cell phone.



By | 5 Comments

Crap, I mean he retired again.



By | 37 Comments

Brett Favre officially announced his retirement today, and he cried like such a little bitch that you would have thought that he'd been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given six weeks to live.

Sign Up