#UFC

Anderson Silva Helps Brasilian National Soccer Team Defeat Their Shadow-Selves (Wait, What)

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Before I watched this commercial, my cultural understanding of Brazil had been drawn mostly from Werner Herzog movies and guesstimated quotes from <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdXesX6mYUE" target="_blank">Pitbull's "International Love"</a>.

WAGS

RONALDO’S A DICK

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Just so we're clear on the order of events here: (1) Soccer star Ronaldo -- the fat/old/ugly Brazilian, not </a> </a> </a> </a> </a> </a> </a>.

SOCCER

THIS IS A DUDE

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Finger-quotes are great for explaining that you're not technically "a woman"" title="Finger-quotes are great for explaining that you're not technically "a woman"" class="alignright size-full wp-image-41" />Yesterday we all sat around the campfire while the media told us the scary story of the soccer star who hired three prostitutes -- only to learn that the hookers had <a href="../post.phtml?pk=5622">meat-sticks instead of Hot Pockets</a>, if you know what I'm saying.

SOCCER

RONALDO GOT THE WRONG HOOKERS

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Legendary AC Milan striker Ronaldo -- the fat Brazilian Ronaldo who loves hookers, not the good-looking Portuguese Ronaldo who loves hookers -- went out looking for a good time the other night and got himself three hookers.

SOCCER

‘THE SIMPSONS’ FIGHT FLOPPING IN SOCCER

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It's Monday, and you and I both would rather be outside, so how 'bout I just post a long-ass video and you pretend to like it.


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