SCHADENFREUDE

Facebook Making Its Employees Use Its Terrible Android App

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Apparently Facebook has started engaging in quality control for Android by engaging in trial by fire. Employees are being forced to use the app, even if they'd prefer to use the iPhone.

SCHADENFREUDE

How Low Can Facebook's Stock Go?

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Maybe if we offer it five bucks Facebook'll give us back our privacy.

here comes honey boo boo

TLC’s Facebook Wall Is Littered With Schadenfreude-Tastic ‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’ Hate

By | 18 Comments

After the premiere of "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo," fans of TLC flooded the network's Facebook Wall with hate-filled messages. Yay!

FARMVILLE

Zynga Investors Under Investigation For Perfectly Timed Stock Sale

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Gee, Zynga's board might be full of corrupt thieves? That's terribly surprising, old chap.

mergers

Facebook/Instagram Marriage Under Investigation By FTC

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<a href="http://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/201271-instagram-logo1.jpg"></a>It was a match made in heaven, if you define "heaven" as "competitively squelching a possible rival to your business before it can really get started.

Advertising

Tumblr Gives In To The Inevitable, Will Start Running Ads May 2nd

By | 5 Comments

<a href="http://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/tumblr-logo.png"></a>We all knew it was going to happen.

failure

Why We Love The RIAA And ISPs Trying to Police Piracy

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As you may have heard, starting July 12th, ISPs like Comcast and Time Warner and the RIAA have entered into an agreement where, if they see "suspicious activity," they'll offer a "graduated response," <a href="http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/news/2012/03/riaa-and-isps-to-police-your-traffic-starting-july-12.ars">essentially sending you a few nasty emails and then cutting off your Internet service</a>.

ATT

AT&T Learns 'Unlimited' Doesn't Mean 'What We Feel Like' In Court

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<a href="http://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/att-funny.jpg"></a>As we all know, AT&T is not exactly popular among, well, anybody, but until recently, they were the only network with an iPhone.

BASKETBALL

The Orlando Magic Are Laughably Terrible Right Now

By | 8 Comments

To say that things aren’t going well for the Orlando Magic would be an incredible understatement.

FAIL

Notorious Copyright Trolls Get The U.S. Marshals Sicced On Them

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You remember <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Righthaven">Righthaven</a>.

copyright trolls

Music Labels Win The Battle, Lose the War over Music Clouds

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You may have heard that music labels were trying to get "locker" services like Amazon Cloud and <a href="http://www.uproxx.com/music/2011/08/google-launches-new-music-discovery-site-magnifier-featuring-totally-unknown-band-named-my-morning-jacket/">whatever Google's doing</a> shut down unless they paid the labels massive chunks of change, <a href="http://www.wired.com/listening_post/2007/07/universal-throw/">kind of like that time Universal tried to demand that they get a royalty for every iPod sold</a>, because, like, music was totally stolen off of the Internet and listened to on iPods, so that's Apple's fault.

BUFFALO SABRES

Shut Up, Glass Face

By | 5 Comments

There are a few types of stories I try not to miss -- baseball players in drag, pets who have miraculously found their way home after natural disasters -- but the best story of all is the one where a Philadelphia sports fan is acting like a butthole and gets hit or shocked or shot with something.

akron

Dirk Nowitzki Now From Bedford, OH

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Dear Cleveland, all of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers supporters wherever you may be tonight; As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted last year, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier.

CALIFORNIA

“This Guy Has My Macbook” Is Now “This Guy Just Got Arrested”

By | 3 Comments

Earlier today Cajun Boy <a href="http://www.uproxx.com/technology/2011/05/this-guy-has-someones-macbook-apparently/">introduced us</a> to the viral new Tumblr site <a href="http://thisguyhasmymacbook.tumblr.com/">This Guy Has My Macbook</a> by interaction designer <a href="http://twitter.com/#%21/jmk">Joshua Kaufman</a>.

MATT DEAN

Politician’s Mom Makes Him Apologize To Neil Gaiman

By | 17 Comments

Guess which one is the politician and which one actually creates things of value.

HEIDI MONTAG

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

By | 14 Comments

Oh man oh God oh man Oh God oh man.

MANNY SHYAMALAN

People really hate The Last Airbender

By | 28 Comments

It didn't take much more than <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2010/06/the-last-airbender-is-gay-hadouken-fighting" target="_blank">this clip</a> of gay hadouken fighting to convince me not to see The Last Airbender, but in case you were wondering, the critics hated it too (Josh Tyler of CinemaBlend is currently listed as the only "<a href="http://www.cinemablend.com/reviews/The-Last-Airbender-4678.html" target="_blank">positive" review</a>).

retards

HEIDI MONTAG IS A HUGE POP STAR

By | 15 Comments

<a href="http://www.uproxx.com/tv/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/montag-before-after.jpg"> Heidi Montag -- or Heidi Pratt, or Heidi Retard-Pratt, I'm not sure which she's going with these days -- followed up the TEN cosmetic surgeries she underwent in November with the wildly successful release of her new album, the appropriately titled Superficial. In fact, the album was downloaded a whopping 658 times in its first week! It's already gone gold! What's that? Oh. I'm being told that "gold" is 500 thousand in sales, not 500. Okay, so it's not platinum, and it's not gold. What about tin? Rusty tin? [Montag] told Entertainment Weekly last week that she went broke making Superficial but thought that "within the first week, we will definitely make our money back." She told EW, "I put every dollar I have into this. I've spent over $1 million, almost $2 million, on this album. It's cost as much or more than a Britney Spears album because I wanted it to be that quality... The songs will make an impact in pop history." [<a href="http://www.usmagazine.com/moviestvmusic/news/heidi-montag-album-sells-less-than-1000-copies-2010201" target="_blank">Us</a>] I want to take joy in her going broke, but that was probably just typical hyperbole lying from this attention-craving oxygen thief.


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