HUGE FRIGGIN GUNS

Heidi Montag And Spencer Pratt Have Machine Guns, No One Is Safe

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Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, noted dimwit stars of "The Hills," gave a tour of their house and showed off their machine guns. NO ONE IS SAFE.

AUDRINA PATRIDGE

Today In WTF: Facebook Photos Of Aziz Ansari, Paul Scheer & Rob Huebel Hanging With The Cast Of ‘The Hills’

By | 8 Comments

Taken at some sort of MTV-related shindig in 2007 or 2008 based on the shows' overlapping air dates and the subdued levels of Heidi Montag plastic surgery.

justin bobby was a total putz

Lauren Conrad Admits ‘The Hills’ Was Fake, Kind Of

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Lauren Conrad told 'Allure' that parts of 'The Hills' were "recreated" for the cameras. Or, to paraphrase, FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE.

THE HILLS

Lauren Conrad Murdered Books And Then Got Rid Of The Evidence

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Lauren Conrad made a craft video where she destroyed a ton of books, then pulled it down when people yelled at her.

HEIDI MONTAG

Spencer and Heidi Are Doing Great

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Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag -- the unapologetic villains of "The Hills" and arguably the most shameless famewhores of the 21st century -- were ubiquitous in the gossip news cycle until America's collective revulsion finally rendered them obsolete.

HEIDI MONTAG

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Oh man oh God oh man Oh God oh man.

MTV

Good Riddance to ‘The Hills’

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"The Hills" aired its final episode last night, and it should go without saying that I'm happy that the insipid, insultingly stupid empty candy shell of a reality series about non-celebrities who became tabloid stars will never again air a new episode.

JASON WAHLER

This Jackass Should Be Euthanized

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You may remember Jason Wahler, the Colin Farrell knock-off pictured above, as Lauren Conrad's <a href="http://www.mtv.com/photos/carrey-ferrell-bynes-timberlake-bosworth-what-you-didnt-see-at-the-2006-movie-awards/1533920/1944144/photo.jhtml" target="_blank">boyfriend with the chinstrap beard</a> back when people still talked about "The Hills.

MTV

Little Kids Reenact ‘The Hills’

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The final season of "The Hills" begins tonight, and <a href="http://www.babelgum.com/5002891/kids-reenact-mtvs-the-hills.html">Landline TV</a> put together this video (embedded below) of kids acting out scenes from television's #1 source of empty calories for your eyes.

KRISTIN CAVALLARI

‘THE HILLS’ CANCELED :(

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There's terrible news for vapid dipsh*ts and moronic young girls today, as <a href="http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/03/24/hills-exclusive-final-season/" target="_blank">PopWatch</a> has learned of the cancellation of MTV's "The Hills" following the coming season.

retards

HEIDI MONTAG IS A HUGE POP STAR

By | 15 Comments

<a href="http://www.uproxx.com/tv/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/montag-before-after.jpg"> Heidi Montag -- or Heidi Pratt, or Heidi Retard-Pratt, I'm not sure which she's going with these days -- followed up the TEN cosmetic surgeries she underwent in November with the wildly successful release of her new album, the appropriately titled Superficial. In fact, the album was downloaded a whopping 658 times in its first week! It's already gone gold! What's that? Oh. I'm being told that "gold" is 500 thousand in sales, not 500. Okay, so it's not platinum, and it's not gold. What about tin? Rusty tin? [Montag] told Entertainment Weekly last week that she went broke making Superficial but thought that "within the first week, we will definitely make our money back." She told EW, "I put every dollar I have into this. I've spent over $1 million, almost $2 million, on this album. It's cost as much or more than a Britney Spears album because I wanted it to be that quality... The songs will make an impact in pop history." [<a href="http://www.usmagazine.com/moviestvmusic/news/heidi-montag-album-sells-less-than-1000-copies-2010201" target="_blank">Us</a>] I want to take joy in her going broke, but that was probably just typical hyperbole lying from this attention-craving oxygen thief.

MTV

UGH, MORE OF THIS

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"The Hills" and "The City" have become increasingly irrelevant -- not that they were ever relevant on any substantive plane in the first place -- but that hasn't stopped MTV from renewing both of the completely fake reality afterbirths.

BRAVO

THE NEW WORST REALITY SHOW ON TV

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The marauding sea monster pictured here is Kelly Cutrone, whose primary sin until now was giving Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port so-called "jobs" on "The Hills" and "The City.

KRISTIN CAVALLARI

HA HA, RATINGS FOR ‘THE HILLS’ ARE WAY DOWN

By | 14 Comments

Since MTV's malodorous decision to continue "The Hills" with Kristin Cavallari in Lauren Conrad's place (or should I say, "malodorous decision to continue the show at all"), I'm delighted to see that ratings for "The Hills" have declined by 33%.

THE WONDER YEARS

I GUESS ‘THE HILLS’ JUST NEEDS A VOICE-OVER

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This clip is based off a Jon Friedman joke that posits that most of "The Wonder Years" would be mostly people silently staring at each other if you removed Daniel Stern's voice-over.

L.A. CANDY

PLEASE JUMP IN A VOLCANO, ALL OF YOU.

By | 56 Comments

Temple Hill Entertainment, one of the production companies behind Twilight, has acquired the movie rights to L.

DJ Kicks

Chromeo – “Night By Night”

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This summer I was <a href="http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/2009/08/chromeo-covers-eagles-classic-i-cant-tell-you-why">opening up</a> about the hankering I'd had for some new material from the essential non-rap music group in my mind, <a href="http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/tag/chromeo">Chromeo</a>.

ROMAN POLANSKI

DAILY CIRCLE JERK: SILENT WONDER YEARS

By | 12 Comments

"If you watch The Wonder Years without the narration, it's 95% people staring at each other.




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