Carmelo Anthony Has Discovered His True Gift: Remaining Motionless

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Back in October, we shared with you a video of Pittsburgh Steelers strong safety <a href="http://withleather.uproxx.com/2011/10/troy-polamalu-2-on-the-move" target="_blank">Troy Polamalu pretending to be a wax figure</a> at Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum in Hollywood so he could suddenly come to life and scare people.


Illustrated Futility: The Browns Try To Win A Game On Thursday

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For all intents and purposes, Cleveland's 14-3 loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers wasn't that big of a deal.


Stop Making Me Like You, Mark Cuban


The Colbert Report Get More: <a href='http://www.colbertnation.com/full-episodes/'>Colbert Report Full Episodes</a>,<a href='http://www.indecisionforever.com/'>Political Humor & Satire Blog</a>,<a href='http://www.colbertnation.com/video'>Video Archive</a> We don't cover clips from 'The Colbert Report' <a href="http://www.uproxx.com/tag/colbert-report/">as much as our friends at UPROXX</a>, but last night's sports-rich segment, starting with the NFL fining Troy Polamalu for concussion-dialing his wife on the sideline and ending with Colbert's second pro-NBA-owner Colbert Super PAC ad (with Mark Cuban's face superimposed on the American flag), was glorious and needs to be shared.


Next Year I Hope We Get ‘Troy Polamalu 2: On The Move’


Check out what Troy Polamalu's up to this season: promoting Head And Shoulders by posing as a wax figure and coming to life Kim Cattrall style to scare people at Madame Tussaud's in Hollywood.


Morning Links: You Got Me, Mad Now

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Sports Vintage Promos: Jumpin' Jeff Farmer Goes Full Force - In an effort to get all the people who hate me covering wrestling to be okay with it (or even enjoy it), here's a classic from my days at "AOL News" featuring IPW's most famous full force-going table-turner Jeff Farmer.


Tim Tebow Lords Over All He Surveys (But Not That Kind of Lord)

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Forbes has released their annual <a href="http://www.forbes.com/2011/05/09/most-influential-athletes.html">Top 10 Most Influential Athletes list</a>, and for the second year in a row, happy-to-not-be-aborted NFL quarterback Tim Tebow has ranked in the top ten.

#jimmy fallon

Jimmy Fallon Did The Pro Bowl Shuffle

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Last week, Jimmy Fallon paid tribute to the NFL’s most worthless event with a musical number called the <a href="http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/blogs/2011/01/the-pro-bowl-shuffle/">Pro Bowl Shuffle</a>.


Coming To Theaters: The Madden Curse

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When Hollywood studios aren’t insulting us with films based on <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/11/sony-takes-a-risk-of-being-retarded">Candyland</a> and <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/06/seven-figures-for-wheres-waldo">Where’s Waldo?</a>, they’re making terrible sports movies about dogs that can play football and Freddie Prinze Jr.


Your NFL Recap: Week 13

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<a href="http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/?p=152529"> Week 13 saw a bevy of divisional games finally start to put some space between contenders and pretenders in this the weirdest of seasons. The Falcons came close to wrapping up the NFC South and possibly the entire conference with another comeback victory against Tampa. Dressed in vintage orange unis, the Bucs took a ten point lead before an Eric Weems kickoff return brought the Dirty Birds within three points. Matty Ice sealed the deal with a late touchdown, on the road this time. The NFC Central could come down to the last week’s Packers-Bears showdown as neither team shows any sign of slowing down. The Pack bounced back with an expected shellacking of the 49ers, highlighted by the catch and run efforts of Donald Driver. The Bears were at the receiving end of a similar, more embarrassing effort courtesy of Calvin Johnson who tore through Bears defensive backs with stiff arms straight out forged on Cybertron. While Megatron’s moves gave Detroit another halftime lead, the Bears defense was sufficiently motivated to shut down the Lions for the rest of the day. A late Jay Cutler TD combined with some help from an <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kw6vxVVXWUM">extremely questionable roughing call</a> on Ndamukong Suh gave the Bears the victory.


Your NFL Recap: Week Three

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<a href="http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/2010/09/your-nfl-recap-week-two"> Week 3. Time to figure out if the new kids on the block are ready to over throw last year’s playoff teams and make the season their own. Who is for real and who isn't? The Chiefs? For real. After several years as one of the league’s doormats, the Chiefs have rolled into the new decade recalling the glory days of Steve Bono and Elvis Grbac. After squeaking out wins in their first two games, the Chiefs laid a proper whooping on the suddenly hopeless 49ers. The Chiefs benefited from some Charlie Weiss chicanery, using a brilliantly designed wildcat double reverse flea flicker to embarrass the Niners schoolyard style. Gimmickry aside, I don’t see any reason why the Chiefs can’t be the Cinderella playoff team of 2010. With a last place schedule and a two game lead in the division already, the AFC West is there for the taking. The two-headed monster of Jamaal Charles and Thomas Jones should give the offense some weapons to grind out a few late season W's. Add in the experience of some of their ex-Patriot players and coaches, and KC should be defying all pre-season expectations. The Falcons? For real. Any time you knock off the reigning kings in their backyard, you deserve some attention. Granted, the Dirty Birds got some help due to an overtime choke by former Saints hero Garrett Hartley, who appears to have shanked his last field goal. Still, with Michael Turner back, Tony Gonzalez still getting it done and Roddy White’s emergence, the Falcons should at least make the postseason. The Seahawks? Fakers. San Diego never starts trying until November. More importantly, as great as Leon Washington is, you can’t expect him to return <a href="http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-game-highlights/09000d5d81ad9c22/Washington-goes-coast-to-coast">two kicks</a> <a href="http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-game-highlights/09000d5d81adb4c7/Leon-returns-another-one">for touchdowns</a> every game.


9.1 The Cooler

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Vickie6 Troy Polamalu's Hair Is Insured For $1 Million [Gawker] 5 Rapper Endorsements We Want Now [The BVX] A History of NBA Twitter Fails [Complex] A Gallery Of Super Tall Girls: Yeah I’d Hit It [Ego [...].


Rarefied Air

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Ever wonder how Nike can justify those million dollar contracts they throw at athletes.



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Here's that very disturbing ad with a miniature Troy Polamalu, who might be the greatest defensive pitchman in the history of football.



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Larry Fitzgerald and Troy Polamalu will share the cover of the next Madden game, Madden NFL 10, which of course will be released this summer.

#Kanye West

1.23 The Cooler

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Coke To Recreate "Mean Joe Greene" Ad With Troy Polamalu [Awful Annoucing] The Ten Twitter Commandments [Unkut] Video: Curren$y x Monsta Beatz - “Up Here” Preview [Nah Right] Kanye Debuts LV Sneakers During Paris Fashion Week [Concrete Loop] Hacker Free BlackBerry for Prez [EU [...].



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David Fincher, director of Fight Club and the upcoming Curious Case of Benjamin Button (<a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/?p=4054">trailer</a>) directed this recent commercial for Nike.

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