Vampires

Twi-tards are biting each other now

By | 34 Comments

And now, from the you-probably-saw-this-coming files, it seems that Twilight kids have  taken to biting each other, and not just because they mistook their friends for delicious, delicious Twinkies.

VAMPIRE SHOES

Twilight shoes even gayer than expected

By | 75 Comments

Afraid you're too unfashionable to be accepted into the local foppish goth coven.

Twilight

Twilight kills a puppy & other stories from Lonesome Town

By | 23 Comments

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse premiered in LA this week, spawning a 1000-plus-strong tent city which we earlier dubbed "<a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2010/06/twilight-premiere-spawns-tent-city-lonesome-town">Lonesome Town</a>.

Twilight

Twilight premiere spawns a tent city – “Lonesome Town”

By | 45 Comments

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse doesn't premiere until tomorrow night at the Nokia Theater in Los Angeles, but that didn't stop hundreds of Twilight fans from camping out there since SUNDAY, creating a tent city, which I've dubbed "Lonesome Town.

TWILIGHT TATTOOS

More abstinence parable-induced insanity

By | 36 Comments

(<a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Twilight-Tat-Peter-Facinelli-Full.jpg" target="_blank">full-size version</a>) Wow.

Twilight

Crazy Twilight lady makes everyone sad

By | 45 Comments

(Lady, just adopt some cats) <a href="http://www.people.com/people/package/gallery/0,,20316279_20387834_20786160,00.html#20786160" target="_blank">People</a> recently had a feature on Twilight fanatics and their shrines to their own unhealthy obsessions (next week: Bulimics pose with jars of their own puke.

Twilight

Twilight credit cards put the APR in Abstinence Parable

By | 36 Comments

When it comes to Twilight, my surprise sensors have already been burned out by Edward panties, <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/11/italy-smells-like-cat-fur-sadness-now-too" target="_blank">Twilight tours</a>, and the home made <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/02/twilight-fans-perfectly-normal-healthy" target="_blank">Bella womb made of felt,</a> such that these new Twilight credit cards registered barely a blip on the WTF meter.

Twihards

Before There Were Twihards: A History of Superfans

By | 39 Comments

When I was growing up in Awesometown, USA, I discovered a terrible, dark secret that made my father the shame of our white collar lineage.

Twilight

WELCOME BACK, MY LIFE IS TWILIGHT

By | 31 Comments

It's been a long three weeks since <a href="http://www.mylifeistwilight.com/" target="_blank">MyLifeIsTwilight.com</a> stopped updating, but now they're back, and I thought we'd celebrate with a run through of some of the most groan-worthy recent entries.

#TRAILERS

TWILIGHT ECLIPSE SERIOUSLY RELEASED A TRAILER FOR A TRAILER, FMLIT

By | 27 Comments

The trailer for The Twilight Saga New Moon hits tomorrow, and I kid you not, they released a 10-second teaser for it today.

Twilight

FINALLY, AN EDWARD CULLEN SEX PILLOW

By | 180 Comments

Looks like I won't be needing you anymore, glitter-covered <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fifi" target="_blank">fifi</a>.

Twilight

STEPHENIE MEYER'S TELEPATHIC VAMPIRE ADULT-BABY SPLIT INTO TWO MOVIES

By | 27 Comments

<a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/blade-twilight1.jpg"></a>Breaking Dawn, the book in which the Twilight series comes to <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/12/how-many-more-twilights-will-there-be" target="_blank">a crescendo</a> with snorkeling vampires, paralysis-causing super fetuses, fang c-sections,  telepathic adult-babies, and werewolf-on-baby love affairs (I didn't make any of that up, btw), will be split into two movies, according to <a href="http://www.deadline.com/hollywood/exclusive-twilight-sagas-final-book-breaking-dawn-will-be-made-into-2-movies/" target="_blank">Deadline Hollywood</a>.

Twilight

MOST ENTERTAINING TRAINWRECK OF 2009: TWILIGHT FANS

By | 71 Comments

Not opinion, indisputable fact: there has never been a bottomless fountain of the entertainingly pathetic like Twilight fans.

Twilight

TARGETED TWILIGHT ADS: HOT TOPIC & PLUS-SIZED CLOTHES

By | 25 Comments

A few weeks ago <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/11/sorry-twilighters-google-never-lies" target="_blank">I showed you</a> the banner ads about sex offenders that had begun showing up on a Twilight site.

Twilight

THE 10 MOST DEPRESSING ‘MY LIFE IS TWILIGHT’ ENTRIES

By | 54 Comments

(Homemade Bella womb, <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/02/twilight-fans-perfectly-normal-healthy">remember that</a>.

Twilight

JAPAN ROVES NEW MOON!

By | 21 Comments

Probably the only thing more fun than ridiculing Twilight fans is ridiculing Japanese Twilight fans (fat jokes plus racist pidgin speak.


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