Posts Tagged: WHORES

EVERYONE'S A CRITIC

"Critic" Pete Hammond Had an Extra Whorey Year

By | 22 Comments

This year, quote whore Pete Hammond gave positive reviews to 48 out of 58 movies, and one of the 10 negatives was Edgar Wright's 'The World's End.'

BROTHELS

Small Italian Theaters Survive by Becoming Whorehouses

By | 23 Comments

The phenomenon of failing independent theaters in the age of VOD and the multiplex is so widespread that abandoned theaters became the entire visual motif of <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2013/08/review-the-canyons-more-like-canyawns" target="_blank">The Canyons</a>.

critics

WATCH: Pete Hammond offers his hard-hitting analysis of ‘Jobs’

By | 20 Comments

Did you know our old buddy <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2011/04/pete-hammonds-fast-five-review-is-a-masterpiece-of-quote-whoring" target="_blank">Pete Hammond </a>does video reviews now.

BJS

Pie-Humper’s wife bought him a beej from a hooker

By | 48 Comments

I'm sure I'll have lots of thoughtful analysis and exciting updates about Charlie Kaufman and the Dogme 95 filmmakers coming up later today, but in the meantime, here's a story about the dude from American Pie's wife buying him a hooker (I know you'd be reading it anyway).

WHORES

Pete Hammond’s Fast Five review is a masterpiece of quote whoring

By | 13 Comments

When I first saw this week's TV spots for Fast Five touting meaningless critic recommendations like "an adrenaline-pumping blast that leaves everything else in its dust.

JAIL BAIT

Six Years Probation

By | 3 Comments

Hall of Fame linebacker Lawrence Taylor managed to avoid jail time when he was sentenced to six years probation for doing (business with) an underage prostitute.

WHORES

Lax Lap Dancers Harden Shafts

By | 4 Comments

Forgive me for not being up to date with what's happening in Major League Lacrosse, I assure you, it's only because I don't care, and not because I'm lazy.

the expendables

Count the blatant quote-whoring in Pete Hammond’s Expendables review

By | 18 Comments

(Pete and <a href="http://warmingglow.uproxx.com/2010/08/die-literally" target="_blank">Rachel Zoe</a>, sittin' in a tree, L-I-T-E-RA-LL-ee.

WHORES

Franck Ribery Shows Us That Soccer Really Is A Kid’s Game

By | 8 Comments

Ollie Irish has written about "sport" for a bunch of people, including Goaly Moly, The Guardian and The Observer.

GIRLS NEXT DOOR

The Meth Head Next Door

By | 7 Comments

After releasing a sex-tape with Sloth from The Goonies, the next logical step in the fame-whore bible for Kendra Wilkinson, star of E.

CROTCH FONDLEBOMB

Knight & Day’s Orwellian ads fail to convince public

By | 19 Comments

It hasn't ended up online yet, but if you've been watching the NBA finals or the World Cup at all in the last few days, you've probably seen the new commercial for Knight and Day that prominently features quotes calling it "FRESH" and "ORIGINAL," and painting it as the island of creativity in a sea of remakes and sequels.

BAI LING

You had me at ‘Joe Pesci plays a pimp’

By | 39 Comments

<a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2010/05/you-had-me-at-joe-pesci-plays-a-pimp#more-28703"> Ever since Joe Pesci pulled the ultimate pimp move in Casino, where Sharon Stone was mid-sentence and he just pointed to his junk and guided her head there, I've wanted to see more of Joe Pesci being a pimp. The sight of it just warms my greasy dago heart.  It appears Pesci will doing more of just that in Love Ranch (for which you can <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2010/05/you-had-me-at-joe-pesci-plays-a-pimp#more-28703">watch the trailer</a> below), the new movie from Ray director Taylor Hackford.

PETE HAMMOND

Guess which critic loved Shrek. Go ahead, guess.

By | 18 Comments

The other day, FilmDrunkard David was kind enough to send me the above screencap from the RottenTomatoes <a href="http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/shrek_goes_fourth/" target="_blank">reviews page</a> for Shrek Forever After, showing that it had received only one positive review.

D-BAGS

Count the blatant whoring attempts in Pete Hammond’s Iron Man 2 review

By | 29 Comments

Like porn and pleasing me sexually, the entertainment industry is an area in which kissing ass really does pay.

CELEBRITY CHEATERS

Everyone Remain Calm

By | 6 Comments

In our tabloid culture with its never-ending news cycle, it's easy for news outlets to make a bigger deal out of something than it really warrants.

THE BLIND SIDE

PETE HAMMOND WANTS CREDIT FOR SANDRA BULLOCK'S OSCAR NOM

By | 35 Comments

(From left: Pete Hammond, Sandra Bullock, Retard Pig.

BEST OF WL 2009

CANADIAN WHORES GET MEDIA TRAINING

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Today, we’re bringing you the Best of WL from 2009: my favorite posts, and yours, from the last year.

Crap

EVERYONE HATES OLD DOGS. ALMOST.

By | 40 Comments

I'd love to review Old Dogs just to tell you how bad it is, but there's a limit to how much I'm willing to suffer for you guys, and I already have to read entertainment columns.


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