I know, I know — you’ve probably been thinking for the longest time that America’s Got Talent is one of the last bastions of wholesome goodness, morality and virtue left in the entertainment world. You’ve probably convinced yourself that there’s no way, NO WAY, the filthy scourge of Internet porn could possibly infiltrate the happy little competitive variety show Nick Cannon — flanked by Sharon Osbourne, Piers Morgan and Howie Mandel — presides over. Hell, your maw-maw watches that show! So surely nobody’s squirting into a Kleenex tissue in the production office to Stoya sodomizing Sasha Grey with a strap-on while that Bieber-impersonating porn dude watches, right?
Man, I really hate to be the one to break this to you, to crush your dreams, to shatter your perfect little world, but no — people watch porn on the Internet and jack it at work, even at America’s Got Talent. Shocking, right?
How do I know this, you ask? How I am so sure of myself? Because someone, an obvious wanking wanker, made a promo for the show in which their web browser history flashed across the screen for a second or so, but when you hit pause at just the right moment it shows that this person, the obvious wanking wanker, has spent some time on some dirty porno sites. Here’s the proof…
Poor guy. He’ll (I’m just gonna go ahead and assume it’s a guy) probably be fired for this. If there’s any justice in the world, he’ll whip out his balls on the way out the door and teabag Piers Morgan as he naps in his dressing room. Or something like that. Just something involving balls is all I ask, because balls are just funny, always.
(HT: Buzzfeed)
